[Solved] Changing child's name without my consent

Hi you can change your childs last name by Deed poll but you need permission from anyone who has a PR which you will have. If youre ex applied to have the name changed she would have had to write to explain she couldnt find you and you were not in the childs life. Are you sure she as changed it or just using her name. You can go to court but the court may well think its in the childs best interest to keep the name changed, for example to be all called the same name within the family unit. You have to pay maintanance to your chil what ever their last name is. The child is yours. On a different note you could apply for a contact order to see your child !

Hi AK57

On the letter from the CSA the child is in her last name, I have put this on the further information on the back of the form asking if she is allowed to change his name without my consent. Although I haven't had contact with him he talks to my mom and sister on the phone and Facebook and my cousins too! So no sure she could use she couldn't contact me to ask permission.

Will the CSA do anything if this is the case or they just after money, I have no issue paying money to my son but have been unemployed for just under 12 months after losing my job and I'm claiming job seekers.

Lee

Hi Lee, I think there are two seperate issues. Your ex is entitled to go the the csa for child support for your son what ever she has called him. If you are on benefits you will have to pay the flat rate of £5.00 a week this will be dated from the date your ex made the claim, so it will already be building up, so I strongly suggest you but this aside as they will expect you to pay this.
The name change is a different story. Your ex if you went to court (which will cost ) has proberbly got a good case for changing your sons last name as its you who should have been in contact not your family, and i dont mean to sound harsh but why are you that bothered in a name if you are not seeing him .

It is not my choice that I'm not seeing him, she is evil and poisoned him against me and my partner as she's bitter!. I don't think that he would even have a say in whether he changed his name it's my ex delivering another slap and another chance to get one over on me and use him as weapon like she always has whenever she can.

The claim was only put in a few days ago and they said that it will start from the date they contacted me on the letter. I have no issue paying money for him and I would love to see him and both get on with our lives, but after 8 years she is still cannot except that I ended the marrige and eventually had a kid with another woman.

i've had the name change issue the last year or so along with the rest of her [censored] to deal with.

She cannot legally change the childs name but there is nothing to stop her from making the child "known by" any name she wants! that's another issue i'm currently fighting and arguing with her through court about.

not sure what or how i'm going to get things resolved as it seems these women can say and do what they want...dictate what and who they have in your childs life...you have to just accept it or so they say....the courts claim to be able to prevent this from happening but in reality its the ex who decides depending on how she palys it!

All the while i'm being prevented from having a major role in my childs life as i was before she met her new fella!

Hi , Thanks for explaining. Take her to court you can do this your self , so many people on here are in the same boat. If you are quick you could get legal aid granted. or you can ask for a reduction in the £200 court fee if you self represent. I know how you feel my son has been in the same boat and my brother. My brother took her to court after 3 years of not seeing his children, the mother had done a great job on the kids. But he was granted a weekly supervised visit at Mcdonalds!!!
with a ss worker in the back ground, after a few weeks the kids really enjoyed seeing him and the [censored] of a mother got fed up of having to hang around waiting in town, so she then said he can pick them up and he now as them over night on alt weekends. Its a horrid situation. Fight her ....

To make matters worse she has moved over 90 miles away from where we used to live I did have her address and had contact but she has moved again. One time on a Friday I finished work at 5 drove all the way in rush hour traffic got there around 8 and she wouldn't let me see him she said that she told me a couple of weeks before ( she didn't ) I had even text when I was leaving to say on way but didn't get any reply at all, she let me drive all the way there to have the satisfaction of saying no to my face.

There has been loads of things it got so bad that I used to take somebody with me as a witness as backup and wait at the front door for him, when I used to drop him off I used to get phone calls of her saying [censored] had happened and my partner had called him names the list goes on.

Then it all changed when we found out my partner was pregnant... Within a week the ex had found out and I got a phone call from the ex saying my partner had called my Son a cu#t whilst he was at hours and that she didn't want him to stop at ours any more, she even said I want you to choose your son or your partner!! Then a few days later I get a text saying he dosent want to see me and to keep away. She then changed the number and moved house.

To this day I know my partner never said that to him, she would never use that word she hates it and still belive that she manipulated my son ( she was good at that I know first hand ). She slags of my family to my sister, when we had our baby my sister had a picture with him and put it on Facebook and my ex seen it and sent her a message saying that she was rubbing it in her sons face and that he didn't want anything to do with her as she had a new nephew to look after.

I will never give up hope that one day he will see the light and will realise that it was his mother that turned him against everyone and hopefully will want us all to be part of his life and he has a little brother to be part of his life.

Hi, my sons ex did the same moved a 100 miles away, so he as a 200 mile round trip for a few hours twice a month, its the expense as well. Your ex sounds one evil woman. You can still take her to court and get granted contact by phone, skype letters. Have you kept all the texts etc. The court can put a seek and find on her. Have you parental responsibility are you on the BC ?

I do have screen grabs from the messages I sent on fb they are asking to see him and giving my phone number then she would block me I even have the ones saying I was going to stop paying her money, yes I'm on the birth cert and signed it.

If I was to put all the tricks she had pulled I would be here for days writing it down, she played up getting the divorce and I had to admit to having affair to get her to sign( even though I didn't) it was the only way she would cooperate instead of dragging it on for years.

Why do they make things hard, I have spent many hours in tears over her using my son against me but one thing is my family all know what she is like and have supported me and not beloved her evil lies.

Its a horrid situation and really stressful. Do you know what area she lives or the school he goes to. You can request his school reports. Must be hard being out of work and a new baby. I would take her to court give her a taste of her own medicine , its not hard to do and I know you will get a reduced fee , we can all help you on here, we have been through it and still are

I have a idea what area shes moved to but not the school he goes, it's hard being out of work but enjoying spending time with him and making up for lost time. My wise grandad has always said "as long as your there he will come to you when he's ready". Money is tight at the moment and not sure I would like to drag him through the courts and upset him if he says he dosent want to see us. It's a bitter pill to swallow but I think I will wait for him to contact me through the family and just hope it isn't too long and my sister does show me his Facebook profile so I get to see pictures of him ( not sure if that makes it harder ).

One thing thought is joining this forum is knowing I'm not the only person going through this and it's good to get it of my chest, my partner is so supportive but there is only so much she can understand being a mother herself.

Thanks for listening to me guys.

Hi, when was the last time you saw him or had contact. you could try mediation, you would get legal aid at the moment
How about sending him a private message on fb, just asking how he is etc hows he doing at school.
Enjoy your little one and dont let the x spoil it for you ..

It's been around 2 1/2 years sInce I last had contact. I haven't got fb now I would have to create a profile and add him which I think she has access to.

Think about going to court you might think 2 1/2 years is to long to take action but its not. even if you just went for indirect contact its worth keeping that link open. My dad gave up on me due to my mum doing just what she as done. I didnt find him till I was in my thirtys and had a wonderful 10 years with him before he died of cancer. Trust me your son is worth fighting for, and you have nothing to loose if you try,