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Hi,
Urgent help needed
My wife has today told me that she is moving my daughter out of her current school and into a different school. My duaghter has had a few issues in her current school where she feels she is being bullied (shes 8 years old). Some of this i'm sure is true but a lot of it I feel is a shout for attention from my ex wife. I have met with the school head teacher who has told me tht she has moitored the situation and feels that there is no bullying taking place just some boisterous girls (one in particular) who seem to intimidate some of the insecure and shy ones (my daughter being one of them). The head teacher has made a couple of changes, moving my daughter into a different class to build her confidence. I told my ex wife all of this but she is still going ahead with moving my daughter against my wishes. I strongly feel that it is sending the wrong message to my daughter that if there are difficulties in life she can run away from it. I also believe that her confidence will take a huge hit going to a new school with new children and starting over again. And lastly there are no guarantees that this wont happen again at another school or later in life. My ex wife somehow thinks this wont happen.
What are my legal rights. I have parental responsibility, but more importantly im very concerned about the short and long term psychological affect this will have on my daughter
Any guidance wuld be gratly appreciated
Thanks
Hi Thorneys,
As you have parental responsibility your ex is indeed required to consult with you on all matters relating to your daughter's education. However, as the resident parent, she's ultimately able to make a decision on what she feels to be in the best interests of the child. If you disagree you have the option of mediation and, if that fails, the courts.
I understand your position and whilst the headteacher has clearly made an attempt to quash the bullying it doesn't necessarily mean that it's been altogther successful. Have you spoken with your daughter at length about the bullying? If your ex has lost confidence in the school and can give specific instances of recent bullying a court may well be inclined to agree with her.
I would suggest that you speak to your daughter at greater length. Whilst the headteacher doesn't believe it's an ongoing problem, it's clearly something that is causing your daughter a great deal of distress and shouldn't be dismissed.
Hi Filmmaker,
Thanks for that. To be perfectly honest I dont really want to get my Daughter involved. She's subjected to enough [censored] and manipulation from her Mother. She has mentioned before that she doesnt want to go to the intended school. Its funny because I have just spoke to her and all of a sudden shes excited about now going because she's going to have a farewell party. However, this is just being dressed up by my ex wife. My duaghter is not being told the truth that, it's going to be a whole new experience for her, she wont know anyone and there are no guarantees that 'bullying' wont happen again. She's a very shy individual who doesnt cope well at all with change. I strongly believe that by moving her to a new school it is not the best solution for my daughter.
So what you are saying is that by consulting with me, but not listening to me, my ex wife can do what she wants and parental responsibility for fathers means absolutely nothing.
Ive tried mediation, that didnt work, the ex decided to pull out. Only a couple of weeks ago I attended court to obtain a court order with regards to access.
I'm so annoyed and upset because I can see how this is going to affect my daughter. My ex wife however just has blinkers on and fails to see anyone elses point of view with anything. There is just no reasoning with her, she is out of control
Thorneys
These are the problems we face:(
It could well be that your ex is overprotective and overreacting. She could also be using this situation to achieve what she perceives to be some kind of victory over you. Or she may just hold a different opinion on the issue, however if she's not prepared to look at a mediated solution it doesn't leave you with many options unless you try a different approach?
Could you write to your ex and suggest that if she's willing to give your daughter's current school the benefit of the doubt for one more term, you'll happily support her decision to change schools if the bullying manifests itself again? Tell her that your daughter didn't seem too keen on the move and you'd rather wait and monitor the situation to see whether it improves.
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