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Hello All
I am new to all this and require some advise if possible.
The current situation is that my wife and I have separated due to my wife having an affair (which is still on going to my knowledge). I do have evidence in the form of text messages and letters that prove my wife’s adultery.
We have an 11 year old son together who is my world. Anything that we agree has to be done with him in the forefront of it all and it must have minimal impact on his life. I can't say she is going to behave in this manner though.
Equity wise we own a house together with joint names on the mortgage and are both still living under the same roof but in separate bedrooms. Things are difficult and are becoming increasingly harder day by day due to her constant mood swings.
We have a significant amount of debt together also. The majority of this debt is in my sole name but some of the debt is in joint names.
Regarding the mortgage on the house, I have solely being making the payments for over a 12 month period. I work full time and she works and has only ever worked part time so has had minimal contribution to the running of the home.
This is where things get complicated:
She has advised me that she is moving out in a few weeks but is taking the entire contents of the house. This I don't mind too much personally other that when my son comes to stay on my weekends where will he sit, eat, sleep etc...... Can she actually do this? She knows I do not have the finances in place to be able to go out and refurnish my home straight away.
Regarding the house she has said that she will sign this over to me providing I take all of the debt we have accumulated together so that I would become solely responsible for the mortgage (I already am). Do I need to get a Clean Break order put into place to avoid her being able to make a claim against this if she signs it over to me??
The sad thing about all of this is that over the years she has continuously accused me of having affairs, taking lovers, lying and cheating. I have never been unfaithful to my wife. I have recently found out that this is not the first affair she has had and her affairs in the past have resulted in us moving house 4 times. (This is where the majority of the debt has accumulated from).
I am not sure where I stand on all of the above but any sort of help/information or even suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
Many thanks
I would not let her take anything from the house it's a 50/50 split might be worth asking over at Wikivorce regarding taking the debt etc on there's normally a reason why they are doing it
Firstly, you need to forget the reason for the divorce - I don't think the courts usually worry about who is to blame, they simply sort out the mechanics of what is going to happen.
You need legal advice on this, but I would consider taking her up on her offer if you can get her off the property - you can always get some furniture off thinks like freecycle etc - it may not be ideal, but it's only temporary. In addition, you are going to be paying maintenance to your ex. One of the factors that the CSA take into account when calculating maintenance is:
Repaying a debt that you took on before you separated from the parent with care, and the debt was for the benefit of the family or a member of the family
Don't mention this to her before you come to an agreement, and you could be paying less maintenance that you thought, as long as you can prove that the debt does fall under the above.
Quick thought based on the advice I got from my solicitor. One parent should not remove anything from the home that would disadvantage a child/the children.
Even though you wife is taken your son with her, you house is still his home, he just will have two homes moving forwards.
My gut feel is that you should retain as much continuity in terms of the house should you need to argue your case moving forwards. As has been mentioned, furniture isn't the be all or end all, but you'd be surprised just how much effort it takes to furnish a house at short notice and trying to keep costs down.
Just a thought.......when i left my ex i left everything apart from my clothes and personal items.....my reason for this at the time was moving into a fully furnished house i was renting....from a family member at a very reasonable rate at the time........so i had nothing....i bought a new bed and bedding and a clothes rail and that was it for a few months...when i had a little spare money i bought a wardrobe - ikea cheap but does its job.
I've recently moved in to my own place and had to furnish this completely down stairs......i found a local secondhand furniture shop where i managed to get everything i needed at very good prices....to look at most of the items i got you'd not know they were secondhand.
Because i was needing a lot of stuff I managed to get I haggled with them and managed to get £300 off the total marked up prices of £1500.00....it was hard haggling and i did have to wait a while for them to pick me up a decent table to go with some chairs i'd bought from them....but well worth a look at these sort of places
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