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My ex girlfriend and I have recently had a daughter just over 6 weeks ago. All the way through the pregnancy I bought pretty much everything for her, through anger sometimes she would say I would have nothing to do with my daughter when she was born. I tried my hardest to keep her sweet so this did not happen. After my daughter was born we were still together however my girlfriend at the time did not let me do anything with her and would not leave me alone with my child. This has caused us to split and argue a lot, she is so immature she has once already said I am not having anything to do with my daughter and I couldn't do anything as the child lives with her and I can't just turn up. We sorted our differences and kind of got back together but this week we have split up again and her immature behavior has came out again and she has stopped me seeing my daughter once again. I have contemplated taking her to court on many occasions but with her being unemployed she doesn't need to pay court fees or anything and with me being employed I would. I cannot afford to do it, but I need to see my daughter, what can I do?
Hi shev 🙂
Is your name on the birth certificate? It's important as it will tell us if you have Parental Responsibility.
Firstly, the rules on Legal Aid have changed recently and unless there's is a history of domestic violence she will no longer be entitled to financial assistance.....This levels the playing field for you. 🙂
The first step to consider is Mediation, this is where you would go for an interview with the Mediator and discuss the issues. Then they would write to your ex and invite her to attend, she would talk about her concerns. Once that has been done you would both be asked to attend together and with the guidance of the Mediator, talk everything through and hopefully reach an agreement. Here's a link to the Mediation service -
www.nfm.org.uk
There is a charge for this but you may be entitled to help with these costs if you are on a low income, heres a link to the Legal Aid calculator, just input your details and it will tell you if you are eligible.
www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
If Mediation is unsuccessful the next step is to go to court I'm afraid. You could do what lots of Dads do and that is to self represent. You will find lots of info here about it, there are a couple of stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section about self repping and one about the C100form which is the form you would submit to court to apply for contact. 🙂
Sorry about the late reply.
Yes I am on the birth certificate as her father. Things did get okay again but then she has began it all again and just today she has said Im not seeing her unless I can prove she is mine. She is under the impression that if I take her to court she can drag it out and out as she has her fees paid and free legal representation what are the direct steps for applying for contact.
Thanks Simon
Are there doubts about your paternity then Simon? I don't understand why she would say you have to prove she is yours, you are on the birth certificate!
As I said before legal aid is no longer available for family law cases. She would also have to represent herself if you went to court, unless there has been domestic violence that can be proved by police reports etc. then she would qualify for legal aid.
The first step as I have said is mediation, she would be eligible for legal aid for this and you may be too depending on your income. If you refer to my first reply to you I have give n you links to the mediation service and the legal aid calculator. If you apply to court without having attempted mediation, the likelihood is that the judge would order you both to attend court ordered mediation anyway and this would delay things further....better that you try it first before thinking about going to court. If she refuses to attend then you will be given a form FM1 by the mediator that you will need to send to the court along with your application for a contact order.
Yeah I didn't really want to try mediation because she would not attend however I will attempt this first and there are no doubts but im just wondering if her saying that I'm not would count in court.
Not sure it will, eventually if she is gonna be difficult mate you will have to get a paternity test enforced by the courts.
Maybe worth mediating ASAP and seeing where this will lead.
Good luck!
Perhaps you can talk about the paternity issue in mediation...if you have no doubts she could just be saying it to hurt you.
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