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Hi great forum.. i split with my fiance nearly 2 years ago as she was having an affair with someone at her work,, i was totally shellshocked as i had no idea it was going on..as you can imagine it was very hard to come to terms with at first but i can say in hindsight its the best thing to happen to me as my 5 year daughter and i have such a close bond she is the highlight of my life, our split really bought home to me how special she is.
Her mother agreed shed never stop me seeing her and we come up with an agreement i could have access every sun alternating with her staying overnight.. my ex wanted me to have her every other full weekend as this suits her plans when her new man and his kids.
i cannot do this as fri and sat nites is a time where i earn 80% of my weekly salary so having 2 full weekends off in a month would be a financial disaster.
i have stuck to this agreement religously since our split but id say every 2 months she fails to show up, and says things later in evening like "she dosnt want to see you" (complete rubbish my girl begs ev week to stay longer) or "i havnt seen her all weekend so shes not coming" or yesterdays one ( she needs to form a bond with her stepdad so shes not coming)
as you can imagine suns are the highlight of my week its why i do what i do during the rest of the week, so its fair to say im disapointed when this happens . if she called me earlier or the day before its no problem at all we could come to an arrangement but for some reason she likes to cause a fuss to maximum effect.. anyway im rambling haha my question is if i go down the legal route what are the chances of me getting access every sunday to see my girl not fortnightly)( ps i believe the reason we have such a good bond is because i have her every week) i couldnt imagine going two weeks with no contact and really feel for dads who dont see there kids,, Thanks for listening to my waffle Dennis
Hi LC,
I will pass this on to our legal partners, the Children's Legal Centre for an official response.
Regards
Gooner :ugeek:
Hi Dennis
It's always difficult to predict what a judge will say on the day if you go down the court route. There is a general presumption that contact with both parents is best for a child, unless there is a good reason otherwise, so a question I'd ask is, is there any good reason why you shouldn't have access every week?, and from what you have said, I'd say that there isn't.
However, your first step should be mediation, as this would be best for all concerned if you can come to some agreement, as it generally stays amicable to this point.
If not, and you go down the court route, then your first hearing would normally be a conciliation hearing - at this stage, you have the opportunity to come to an agreement, in which case the court can issue a court order based on that agreement. They cannot impose a court order if there is no agreement - it would then go to a further hearing (or a number of hearings if there are difficult issues). However, at a conciliation hearing, you are still in a family court, with a three justices and it makes it difficult not to come to an agreement if there is no good reason to do so - can you imagine your ex saying to a judge that there shouldn't be contact because your daughter needs to bond with her stepdad, and a judge accepting that?
Dear Londoncaby,
Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre.
There is no standard amount of contact that is granted in court proceedings as every matter is different and is judged based on the merits of the particular case and what is best for that child.
Although fortnightly contact is a common amount of contact to be put into place, this is not what is granted in all cases.
The court will be interested in the arrangement that you have had in place up until now and can order that this is what remains if it is thought best for your daughter as she has become familiar with this arrangement.
The courts will consider all the circumstances, and fortnightly contact is often used to ensure that both parents get ‘quality time’ with children at weekends; however the arrangement that you have agreed to also allows time for this. The court will hear the arguments from all parties and will consider these when making their final decision, and this will be based on what is thought best for your daughter.
Another issue at present is that your daughter lives with her mother, and there is no contact order in place, which means that the mother is able to legally control all contact, and may become difficult regarding contact should you make an application to court. If you believe she may do this then you are able to request interim contact as well as contact when making the application to try and ensure that some contact is given whilst the proceedings are being heard.
The courts are very much in favour of contact between a child and both parents, and it is rare that this is not granted, and although the court would view it as important that the child bonds with those living in her home, this can be done at times when the child is at home and should not affect the contact that you have with your daughter.
Unfortunately it is not possible to predict what the court will order regarding what amount of contact is appropriate, but the courts are in favour of children having contact with both parents, and also maintaining routine within the children’s lives, so these will be considered when making the decision as to when contact should happen.
We hope this information is useful to you. Should you require further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help you.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
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