Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I have an 8 month old child who is living with my ex partner. She left the family home when the child was around 2 months old and since I find it very difficult to have proper access and contact with my son. My ex partner now has a flat which she is occupying with her current boyfriend and I am living in the new home I bought for us in June 2011. She will not allow me to have access overnight unless he stays with my parents. I work 4 x 12 hour shifts followed by 4 days off so I know in advance when I am available to see my son but she says this does not work, as she is always busy with him. We have tried to talk but it always ends in acrimony. I have kept all of her text messages between us as proof that I want to see him. I have parental rights as I'm registered on the birth certificate as the father and I pay child support through the CSA What can I do to get proper overnight access to my son
Have you talked to a solicitor about this yet? There are things you can do, like ask for mediation, where you get help to come up with a plan you can both agree on. Is there any reason why she is not happy to give you regular access or have your son for an overnight stay?
Hi Royce,
It's a tricky one. Usually, given your son's age, it would be unlikely that a court would award overnight contact. A court would encourage regular contact, once or twice a week in blocks of 2 or 3 hours. Then build towards regular overnight stays 6-10 months down the line.
You could look at mediation, but she doesn't have to agree to participate. I would go out on a limb and recommend taking her offer, because it's a better result than the one you'd get by going to court. Let her see that your son is well looked after and look to develop some trust and build on that.
I think you may have to bite the bullet on this I'm afraid. If you go in too hard and threaten court action she may reduce or stop contact altogther, which means that you'll spend 2-3 months waiting for an interim contact order and may not get the level of contact you have now.
FM '70
Thanks for the support. I think you may be correct in respect to overnight stays, but I have looked after him overnight at my parents house without problems.I am able to bathe himm and feed him without problems and he sleeps through the night, but I think that my ex does not like the fact that I have a girlfriend and I think she feels threatened by this. I will try and get her to mediation but I don't think she will agree
Yeah they do have a tendency to become irrational when another female comes onto the scene.
As I say the problem you have is that a court isn't going to give you an overnight just yet, so you need to be patient.
Good luck!
FM '70
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
