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My wife of ten years is divorcing me. We have 3 children. I have a 13 year old daughter from my first marriage. Until recently we all lived together, happily. Then my wife started to physically and mentally abuse my 13 year old. I have shared custody of my 13 year old so effectively my wife forced me to leave the marital home.
She has decided that I can have at my house our 3 children every other Saturday and Sunday. This is totally inappropriate and unreasonable as I want and believe I should have shared custody as I have with my 13 year old. She is ignoring The Mediation Service, her solicitor and me. In fact she has accused me of harassment. She is spreading vile rumours about me to our joint friends and her family. She is behaving in a most irrational way.
In the mean time I am being denied reasonable access to our children. My solicitor says that I should do nothing to make the situation worse so she is getting her own way. Am I being advised correctly and is there anything that I can do now to improve my access as the Law seems to be powerless?
You have a very similar story to many on here.......its all about control.......she has to keep control over every aspect of the kids and you! oh and don't forget the less time you have the kids the more you have to pay her in maintenance.....
my ex tried the harassment and smearing my name.......she had the police out to me for 4 text messages in 3days regarding the estate agents needing to contact her and our dog that i had who had been to the vets!! thats how irrational my ex was/is!
i have fought harassment allegations throughout the last 2yrs with the polie and then finally being able to prove at a Finding of Fact hearing that my ex was and is a liar......
this was only possible due to the ex using the poilce as she had done.......the police had made notes in their logs that got handed to court in the discloure......that "a reasonable person would not see the messages received as harassing in nature or threatening"
the judge used that little bit there and ridded strips off her and her barister in court! [censored]!
anyway....i think what i'm trying to say here is this.......make sure you don't antagonise your ex as you've already been told....you have to not rise to texts/emails etc....
try not to argue with her....and especially not fae to face....there are far to many threats/allegations she could make up about you that unless you have an independant witness to the event you would be relying on your word against hers........and is shes a good actress you could be up [censored] creek!
if you take legal action for defined contact be aware of many of us here who have done that.....and have ended up with less or even no time with our kids for months/years.....if she sees you as attacking her then thats how its likely to be!
if the ex is ignoring her solicitors and mediation i don't see you have any other option but applying for defined contact order...there is plenty on this subject in the legal section here.
you are by no means the only one on this site going through this and there are many of us already further down the road who can give you our experiences.....have a look at the fixed posts at the top of the legal section with regading contact orders and represnting yourself..
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