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Any advice on how I can stop my ex partner from moving away with my 3 children would be greatly appreciated!
I split up from the mother of my children 2 years ago. She has since remarried and had a new child. She has residency and I have parental responsability and a contact order stipulating that I have my children every wednesday and every other weekend (contact during school holidays is decided between ourselves).
2 months ago my children informed me that they were moving and thatshe was advertising their home on house exchange websites, and as I am not on speaking terms with my ex partner I asked my solicitor to write to her to see if what my children was telling me was correct. My solicitor did warn me that this may affect my contact with my children. Her solicitor replied saying that she was not moving and she had no plans to move either now or in the future. After getting her response I found her advertisement on the house exhange websites and sent her solicitor a copy and asked if he could get my ex to explain why she was advertising her home if she was not looking to move. As you would expect she did not reply.
After this my children havent mentioned moving again, that is until I recieved a call from my solicitor saying that I could not have my children on a wednesday evening for our weekly contact. I was not given a reason why just that I could not have them. I then recieved a phone call from child services because my ex had made allegations that I over chastise my children. It turns out that the reason I could not have my children on the wednesday was because my ex had arranged for child services to interview my children. Child services said they were not going to take the case any further as my children all said that they enjoyed spending time with me and did not want to stop seeing me, but child services did say that if there was any further allegations they would involve the police.
Both myself and my solicitor agree that my ex partner made these allegations to stop my contact so she is free to move wherever she pleases.
Then on the last contact visist with my children they informed me that they were moving in 2 weeks to somewhere that is an hour away from where they currently live.
My children have told me that they do not want to move as it would mean they wouldnt be able to see me as regular, they would have to change schools, make new friends and they wouldnt be close to their grandparents and other family memebers.
If anyone could give me some advice on what I should do now that it appears my ex partner is moving I would be very grateful. I have asked my solicitor but the only advice he offered was to let them go, as if I tried to stop her she would make more allegations against me (why do child services always believe the mother!) and stop me from seeing my children all together.
Thanks for reading.
I don't think there is much you can do to stop her moving, as long as it is in this country, I'm afraid.
Had the same problem after I split up from my ex-wife (you didn't by any chance marry her after we'd split up did you, your ex sounds a lot like mine) - a specific payment in divorce agreement was in her favour to help her find a smaller house in the area, but after the agreement, she decided she was going to move 200 miles away. Eventually backfired on her as I eventually took the children away from her so she has to travel now - when she can be bothered - instead of me.
What I did do was to commit to the children that they would see me every two week as least, which I stuck to and I would drive up just to see school performances (3 hour drive - 20 minute performance - 3 hour drive back), plus phone calls at least once a week. My relationship with my children was (and still is now that they live with me) extremely good because they knew I was reliable.
Dear Maximus88,
Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre, an independent charity concerned with law and policy affecting children and young people.
Legally your ex partner is able to move anywhere within the United Kingdom with your children without gaining your consent or opinion on the matter. If she were moving abroad the mother would require your consent only if you have Parental Responsibility for your children.
As there is a contact order in place, the mother would still be legally bound to grant you this contact when she moves, or she should apply to court to have the order varied.
If the mother does not do this then you would be able to make an application to court for enforcement of the contact order. There is information on enforcing a contact order available from www.hmcs.gov.uk in form CB5. If you choose to enforce the order then you will require either form C78 or C79 depending when your order was made and whether there is already a penal notice attached to it. These forms are also available from the above website.
If you wish to prevent the mother from moving, you are able to make an application to court for a Prohibited Steps Order, and you could do this on an emergency basis either with or without the assistance of your solicitor.
The court would hear the matter and both you and the mother will put forward your arguments, and the court would make a decision as to whether or not to grant your order and prevent the mother from moving. Often in these situations, if the move is within the UK the court will not prevent the move, especially as the mother is moving an hour away and so regular contact is still possible.
The court would probably not look at the opinions of your children regarding the move, it is likely that they would be too young to have a say in this, and the impact of a refusal on the mother is not likely to be in their best interests.
The mother may make allegations against you, and you can not prevent her from doing this. You would have to explain to the social services and/ or the court that these allegations are untrue and it would be for them to decide what they believe and whether it should have any impact on proceedings.
If you wish to apply for a Prohibited Steps Order the form you would require is form C100, from the above website, and forms CB1 and CB3 provide guidance on the application process.
You should mention on the form that there are time constraints and they will do their best to hear the matter before this time.
We hope that this information is useful to you. Should you require any further advice please contact our Child Law Advice Lien on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help you.
Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre
One thought on the above reply - if your ex has made false allegations against you, then it could give you a stronger argument in your favour by saying that if she moves away, she will have more opportunity to influence the children's opinion against you. It's a bit of a gamble, but it could almost be worth prompting a police investigation, as their findings (ie of your innocence) would be quite a damning statement of her personality and tactics. Before even considering this, you would definitely need to talk it through with your solicitor. The danger is that when mud is thrown, some always sticks.
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