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Hello,
To set a bit of background my Wife and I split up nearly two years ago and are currently awaiting a divorce. We live in Northern Ireland have court appointed visitation (alternate weekends) set up for the children.
My four children love spending time with me but given the current sunny weather want to be out playing with the other kids instead of stuck indoors with me, I have no problem with this as they should be out playing/socialising with other kids and enjoying the weather.
The problem occured when this last weekend I went to a friends house, she used to be a friend of my wifes and mine and has three kids of her own around the same ages as mine, There is no kind of adult relationship between us, we are just friends, my wife however no longer speaks to her and has deceided that I can not either. On several occasions she has told me that I am not allowed (her words not mine) to take them round there to see her kids.
We agreed this (verbally) approx 6-7 months ago when I was still trying to keep her happy as possible (as at that time i wanted to reconcile) obviously things change and now i would like my children to be able to play with her kids (or any kids) again without issue.
Where do i stand on this? I am trying to avoid going to my lawer about this and making it into a big issue but i am wondering whether she has any say on who I can and cant see with my children when they are with me?
Any information would be great, thanks
Bob
Hi there Bob 🙂
Put simply, unless there are safeguarding issues, your wife can't dictate what you do and who you see when they are with you. She shouldn't be visiting her own disagreements on the children, especially if they have played together in the past and are friends.
Great, I figured as much but I wanted a second opinion.
The last thing I want to do is stop the kids seeing other people/children because their mother isnt happy about it but im not willing to jeopardise the agreed visitation i have over it.
Sounds as though it is simply a case of because this woman is friends with you (whether in a relationship or not) she is upset that the friend has sided with you and not with her!
Sounds as though it is simply a case of because this woman is friends with you (whether in a relationship or not) she is upset that the friend has sided with you and not with her!
I agree, anything that shows you are managing to move on and enjoy your life will upset your ex, from experience they will then try to dictate how you use your time with your children.
She has no right to do this though if you go against her be ready for her to try and stop contact, this isn't right and she can't do this but it probably won't stop her.
Hopefully she won't push that far but if she does you may have to consider legal action or mediation to resolve the issues.
GTTS
Thanks for all the replies, it certainly seems to be the case that i meant to hang around and struggle without her.
The main reason this annoys me is because the end result will be stopping the kids from seeing there friends. If it comes to the choice between someone and my kids then the kids win everytime but if things keep going this way they will have no friends (nea my residance) to play with.
Anyway rant over, thanks for the support and advice 🙂
Bob
...Its all about control Bob 😡
i think you have the right attitude, rise above it! As the kids get older they will form relationships independently of the mothers dictates, and she will have very little say in the matter!
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