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Hi, at what age a to are children deemed to have a say, so to speak. regarding cafcass etc. my children are 6 and 8 . if they say they don't want to see or talk to me my ex seems to think this is ok.
I have had time to see them arranged for 4 days.(arranged weeks in advance) planned and booked accomadation , but the kids wanted a sleep over with there friends and my ex would not cancel this.
seem like I am rambling but a lot going , have to go court for contact and my partner is due in 2 weeks head is a mess
andy
Hi Andy,
Childrens wishes are listened to but your children are too young to be considered old enough to make that kind of decision for themselves. If your children are saying they dont want to see or speak to you, might it be more likely that the mother is influencing these responses. CAFCASS are used to this kind of situation arising, as its not uncommon for some mothers to try and alienate the father and stop contact in this way. CAFCASS will also talk to you and perhaps you should voice your concerns to them regarding this, especially if your relationship with your children was good before the break up.
Hi There,
I am getting a similar thing happeneing at the moment and Cafcass are helping to get to the bottom of what is actually happening as my son tells me one thing and his mum someting different.
I would say almost certainly that your children are not wanting to hurt there mum, and as they live with her this is hard on them, she may be influencing them just by being upset and angry without actually meaning too, they will pick up on this and react seeing you as the cause. This doesn't make it easier I know if anything it's worse, all you can do is continue to show them you are there for them and how much you care.
I know from my experience you aren't able to ask cafcass to talk to your children, you are able to request they attend a court case but only the judge can decide the envolvment they have (well this is what I was told when I contacted them)
As Nj has said express your fears to them (if they are involved) and request they talk to your children, you may get a different responce to the one I got.
Keep us posted
Darren
thanks for your replies. the ex is certainly influencing them. saw them for a day over xmas, mentioned going away on holiday for a week they were both excited. when I got home received a txt from eldest saying no to holiday .
when they told me there didn't want to come down and stay over anymore it sounded very rehearsed .
saw a solicitor today for advice( free aswell, in shock) feeling more positive now and hoping to start with mediation before contact order
andy
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