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Hi,
Hope someone can help??
I have been split from my ex for a couple of years, this Christmas will be the third since we seperated.
The first year, I was a complete mess, and closed up completely, not wanting to see anyone at Christmas - not even the kids 🙁
Last year, I coped much better and we (the ex and I) had long debates over what was right for the kids at Christmas - I was pretty insistent that they should spend it with me as she had them the previous year, but eventually agreed that she could have them overnight on Christmas Eve, and I would collect them mid afternoon on Christmas Day. We both agreed this was fair.
Now the issue - I bet you can see what's coming.....
She is refusing to allow me to have the kids overnight on Christmas Eve this year - her argument goes from "I can't bear the thought of them not being with me, at home" all the way through to "The kids don't feel like your place is home, and have expressed a desire to be at home for Christmas".
I have no problem with fair and reasonable, but if I let this go for another year, it becomes the "norm" and I will never experience Christmas morning with my kids (whilst they are kids) again.
It's also worth noting that we have an "OK" relationship most of the time - I get the kids every Thursday after School, and they go back on Sunday evenings. Holidays are arranged and agreed, and for the most part there are no issues.
I don't want to make it all Legal, but also don't want to be dictated to in this fashion. In my view, I have as much right to experience Christmas morning with the kids as she does??
Any advice greatly appreciated!
Thanks,
Geoff
Well as far as I am aware, the courts generally order alternate Xmas.
Therefore if the ex had Xmas eve to Xmas lunch last year you should get the same this year.
However I would say Xmas is just a date. There is no reason for you not to make your own Xmas on a different day. Pick them up from the exs on Xmas day afternoon and have your own Xmas eve with Xmas morning the next day.
Make your own Xmas day and have your own special tradtions!
There seems to be mixed views on Christmas from a judges point of view, As Tony say's lots go for alternate as this makes it fair, however a portion do tend to feel that children should be in their day to day home on christmas morning, I have experience of both, My child who lives with his mum comes and stays every other christmas, (this year will be the first at my house) but my partners child (my step son) stays with us every year and goes to his Dads boxing day, both of these arrangements were ordered by different judges in court.
I also agree with Tony that it is just a date and you can have christmas on a different day, but the real excitment lies with the children finding and opening their stockings from santa.
I would try to continue to talk to your ex and see if you can come to an arrangement, as you say things are normally quite good in terms of contact so going down the legal route could damage this.
hopefully you get sorted .
Darren
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