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Well hello everyone.
If things couldn't get any stranger then they are now, they just did.
new scenario I'm facing. My ex partner gets a letter and a call from the mediator explaining whats about to happen, yet the day before mysteriously i get an email telling me dates, days and times when I can see my child. So, I'm semi in agreement with this as some time together is better than none at all.
I then gets a call from the mediator asking if I had made an agreement, I say that it's a "kind of agreement" and that I do not trust or believe a word of it and that she will go back on her word. However, the mediator on the telephone explained to me that I should give her arrangement a try and that should it fail inside three months I should call right back as soon as this occurs. She will keep the case open.
So, here is where it gets complicated. (a bit) and where I need some advice.
we've been separated for a long time now, and about a week or two ago i decided to pay and sign up to match.com website and see about all this online dating. No rushing, just looking and see perhaps about making new friends and see what occurs long term.
Well, last night I get an email from my ex declaring her undying love for me, this in itself is nothing new. She does this when she thinks things have settled down between us. I know at this stage she herself had not seen my online profile.
This morning my inbox (email) showed she had by this time signed herself up and seen my profile THREE times... After which she emails me telling me about our arrangements and was I happy etc.... I reply yes I was at this time and we should wait and see how it pans out.
Our child has a doctors appt on Weds at the time when i am meant to have him (Planned??? hmmmm i wonder!) so I agreed (and wanted) to come to the doctors and be a part of it all.
A few hours later out of the blue and in reply to that message she then tells me that she can no longer deal with me and that someone else should collect him on my behalf as she needs to "get over" me... hmmm, ok at this point I need to point out that she has been on dates (to which i wish her the best of british!).
Here is the issue.
I do NOT want to deal with any member of her family by way of collecting my child as they are abusive towards me at any given opportunity and this makes me feel so down that it will affect the time I have with my child.
My family are not available at the times when I collect the child. My ex won't allow any other persons to allow collections.
What can I do? is this a case of go back to mediator? My reason for asking is that my ex WILL have to deal with me i'm sure with regards to all matters health, religion and schooling.???
To me, this just seems to be yet another clever tactic on her side to make thing even more complicated for me to see my child.
Any ideas would be great.
thank you
Sort it out with the mediator ASAP otherwise this will be on a downward spiral and before you know it - it may continue to yo-yo all its way into court.
I think you need to spell it out for her.
Tell her that you are not prepared to deal with her family because of the abusive nature of contact with them, point out that this will have an affect on the baby and it is also extremely unsettling for you which again will impact on the quality of your time with your child.
Tell her that if she cannot agree to pick up and drop off contact, or to making other suitable arrangements with you then you will have no choice but to go back to the mediator and ask for the FM1 so that you can apply to court for a contact order.
That's my opinion anyway...otherwise you're just going to continue to go round in circles!
Ah the old stalking you online routine. Just after my ex committed an act of domestic violence on me (which she was later cautioned for) she went online and posted about what she'd done, adding that she 'really wants to get back together 'with me. Insane.
I'd love to avoid her on the handover but it's not going to happen. How about just working yourself into a mental state where whatever is said you laugh at on the inside. After all anything they say is just rubbish- you don't even care about their opinions, do you. I'm happy picking the kids up, and happy when I drop them off as we've always had a great time. She hates this more than anything, as she knows how much the children look forwards to the weekends. It would definitely be worth putting your phone on audio record in your pocket if they are giving you abuse, this is harassment in front of your child which is something they definitely should not be doing.
Given the situation, your child is going to start thinking how idiotic mum's family is as he or she gets older. You are doing well, doing the right things mate.
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