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As I am sure many of the dads who have joined here I come to the forum looking for advice...
My partner and I have separated, we were previously married, had a son in wedlock and then got divorced. 6 years ago we got back together and had a second child out of wedlock (born 2008). I bought the family house (solely in my name) and we have lived here happily until December of last year when my partner suddenly announced she wanted to separate and for me to move out of the home. I refused since I own the property but suggested she maintain living in the family home as I plan to move to London to work during the week. My only request is that I can return to the family home at the weekend to see the kids. I also suggested that I maintain paying the utility bills to lessen any financial impact on her.
Of course nothing is simple and she is now saying she will change the locks on the house so I cant get in and is demanding I pay maintenance for the children on top of the mortgage and bills I will cover.
In addition she now takes the kids out all day at the weekends, time I would like to spend with them myself. There is no forewarning nor does she tell me when they will be home.
Despite me being non confrontational, willing to keep things as stable for the kids as possible she will be verbally nasty towards me in front of the children to the point my eldest (9 years old) is in tears and asking why mummy is being so horrible to daddy.
My questions to the forum are:
Can my ex partner lock me out of my own property?
Can she take my children out of the country without my consent?
Would anyone recommend applying for joint custody?
N.B She refuses to see any type of mediation service.
Thanks in advance to any advice on the above.
With regards the property, I'd have a word with the citizens advice bureau on this.
I'll ask the CCLC to pop by and give an opinion of the other questions.
With regards to the property you own the house legally and she cannot change the locks, although you could change the locks if your ex has never contributed to the house or you were not married when you bought. DO NOT do this though as it will get very messy and you would look very bad in court. if she goes to a solicitor they will advise her to probably go for an occupation order and this would dictate who lives in the house regardless of who owns it. I would advise you seek proper legal advise though. Do not react to any comments your ex makes in front of the children, but keep a note of what was said and when as it may be useful later on. Good luck
Dear Paul0108
Thank you for your post.
It is firstly important to establish whether you have Parental Responsibility for your child.
You would have this if:
• You were married to the mother;
• You are named on the birth certificate and child was born after 1st December 2003
• If the birth has been re-registered after 1st December 2003.
• If you have a Parental Responsibility agreement with the mother;
• If you have a Parental Responsibility Order from the court;
• If you have a Residence Order from the court
Parental Responsibility is defined in s.3(1) Children Act 1989 as being: "all the rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority which by law a parent of a child has in relation to the child and his property".
Practically Parental Responsibility means that both parties should consult and consent on issues such as schooling, medical issues, change of name, removal from the jurisdiction and other major issues concerning the child.
If you do have Parental Responsibility then your ex partner would need your consent for any removal from the jurisdiction of England and Wales. If you suspect that the mother may do this without your consent and you wish to prevent this then you can apply to the Courts for a Prohibited Steps Order to prevent the removal from taking place.
In terms of a shared residence order (joint custody) this would be a matter for you to decide on. We would advise attempting mediation with the mother in the first instance to try and resolve any issues that there may be in terms of the children. . It is important to note that anything agreed in mediation is not legally binding . To arrange mediation please contact National Family Mediation on 0300 4000 636.
If mediation does not work and you are not happy with the arrangements in terms of the children you can then go on to apply for a Residence, Shared Residence or contact order depending on your circumstances.
All the above orders are made on an application form entitled C100. This form can be obtained from www.justice.gov.uk or from your local Family Proceedings Court. There is a fee of £200 for this application. If however you are eligible for a fee exemption you can complete a fee exemption form entitled EX160a. Once you have completed the application form you need to hand it in to your local Family Proceedings Court along with the relevant fee and the Court will then contact you with a hearing date.
Something that you may want to look at when applying to the Courts is the Welfare Checklist. This is a guide that all Judge’s must follow when deciding whether to grant any of the Orders mentioned above.
a)The ascertainable wishes and feelings of the child concerned (considered in light of his age and understanding);
b) His physical, emotional and / or educational needs;
c) The likely effect on him of any change in his circumstances;
d) His age, [censored], background and any characteristics of his, which the court considers relevant;
e) Any harm which he has suffered or is at risk of suffering;
f) How capable each of his parents and any other person in relation to whom the court considers the question to be relevant, is of meeting his needs;
g) The range of powers available to the court under the Children Act 1989 in the proceedings in question.
Should you require any further legal advice please do not hesitate to contact us via our webchat facility which can be found at www.childrenslegalcentre.com and is available Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm.
Yours sincerely
CORAM CHILDREN’S LEGAL CENTRE
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