Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi,i was given indirect contact(1letter a month inc birthday card) with my 7yr old daughter.(Had a DNA-she's mine).Ive never met her,me&her mum were together for 5yrs but when she got herself pregnant i dint want to be a dad&disappeared before she was born.
So,i got a huge bill from the CSA&decided to take her mum to court for contact.
I wrote 2letters telling her all about myself and said i want to take her to spain if she wrote back but she didnt.I sent her a birthday card but it was late and i dint send it through the solicitor but to my ex.
She didnt collect it so i think she wasn passing the letters on anyway and so i stopped sending letters.I sent 2out of 6.Im going to explain in court at end of the month that i dont want to mess around with these letters anymore and i think my ex should be told to give me direct contact so i can meet MY daughter.
Ex is trying to come across all nice by saying she wants MY daughter to know me but going behind my back and encouraging the CSA to keep taking out liability orders against me.
I am going to Spain again with my wife and her 2kids and need all the money i can get.
My wife is picking arguments and linking everything back to how her ex makes her feel but she should be on my side.I think i will just be straight with the judge and say how i had the DNA and now she's mine i should just be able to see her.
Also,i changed my name by deed poll a couple of years ago.The birth certificate people are being awkward by insisting the details should go on as they were when my daughter was born but i want my new name.Can i say i'll agree to my old name going on if my daughters get changed from ex's to mine?My mum said its a lovely idea and she wants to meet my daughter.I told my mum my daughter wasn't mine until the DNA and now she's happy about MY daughter but the EX wont talk to my mum on the phone because she said my whole family "let her down"-ridiculous.Can i mention that to the judge too?
Thanks guys.
Womak,
I remember your posts from a few months ago. You don't appear to have listened to any of the advice you were given.
You were awarded indirect contact with your 7 year old daughter in the form of a letter a month for an interim period of six months?
You have now sent your daughter a grand total of two letters, but as you have not received an immediate response, you can no longer be bothered and still expect a judge to give you further contact? You applied for a contact order, because the mother had asked the CSA to take maintenence payments from you, which you frequently withhold, but clearly feel that whatever payments you have made somehow obligate a court to force your daughter to meet with you?
You have absolutely no chance of getting to meet your daughter with your current attitude. You're unreasonable, utterly irresponsible and only seem to care about yourself. You abandoned her mother (who you'd been with for five years) when you discovered she was pregnant and the last time you saw your daughter was when she was two days old. Not once in ELEVEN posts have you demonstrated an iota of compassion towards your daughter or indicated that you have given any real consideration to how this may be affecting her.
I'm afraid I don't feel that I can offer you any further advice.
I would suggest that you speak to someone at the Coram Children's Legal Centre. There's a link to their website at the foot of the page.
Honestly?
I think you are handling this all wrong.
You are not going to get face to face contact with your daughter when you cant even be bothered to do the letters that you were ORDERED to write. You want to take her Spain? Are you mad? She doesnt know you!
Changing her name, again total no go. Your daughter is 7 and you want to change her name now! Not a chance in [censored].
I wouldnt be surprised if the judge totally ripped you to shreds, and ordered NO contact at all. You will still have to pay CSA
Womak
Can I ask why you are posting on this forum? - a lot of people on here expend a lot of effort posting their opinions, experience and expertise to help people with their problems, and yet you persist in ignoring pretty much unanimous opinions on your actions. If you wish to ignore everyone's advice and continue on your present course, then that's entirely up to you - I'm sure no one on here will be surprised at the likely outcome, but you are almost certainly going to alienate all those who have been giving good advice.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.