[Solved] Contact Centres, scary solicitors and more.....

Dear BBRD,

I am really sorry to learn of this. I was so excited for you when I had learnt how successful your case went, sounded like a real pants down by the ankles session 🙂

This is really not on and she is playing a game demonstrating unreasonable behaviour,

Might I sugest about that you contact childrens legal centre to minimise expense and just be as factual as possible to the solicitor?

I dont know all the fact and clearly I am not an expert but logically sounding it out

1) Are you on the birth certificate
2) Is this bio father on the birth certificate

I am guessing both of those are no....if this is the case and I am pretty sure the bio father was not married, a non-married father can only obtain parental responsibility by agreement with the mother, or a court order. Therefore he cant really have a legal stance on this technically.

Clearly delaying it any longer is controlling the situation and is not fair

1) her and the lawyer are being intimidating
2) they are controlling the situation
3) and reducing the base from which you work

it is not in the childs best interest.

This is all just from my simple understanding, but I think for any of us to be successful we should work together pool as many ideas and bounce them off eachother and make sure we have done our best to look after our children.

BW

Boyce

I'm really curious, if the mother is being difficult, how is it that you've managed to get any kind of contact when you're not the bio dad in the first place? I understand that to him you are Dad & he is your son, but i'm surprised the courts recognise that?

The courts are not interested about biology. Anyone could apply for the same order if it is in his best interests.

The 'male' who got her pregnant (I don't use the term father) has never been married to her nor is he on ANY documentation. Simply a f**k buddy she had for a while. He's married and has kids of his own.

My concern is that he will 'not want to see dad on saturday' as her excuse which I know is rubbish.

If her solicitor keeps up from his initial phone call which I think was to set his footing I will be making it clear that I do not wish to engage with him outwith the court room.

I have had regular contact with the child law centre, to be fair other than changing solicitors it is going exactly as they told me it would.

So moving forward, I need to focus for this saturday (At least she has booked an intake so she's taking it seriously) and I've emailed her solicitor and the bar reporter confirming I am not able to pay for a report out of my own pocket and we should all seek a continuation until legal aid is granted.

Hi I cant see after all this time the bio Dad would want any contact and it cant be in your sons best interest to all of a sudden be given a new/another Dady, what on earth are they playing at, it sounds like stalling antics to me. The judge has awarded you contact and wont be happy when he finds out she is moving the goal posts yet again. Ask for the same judge.
I would not engage with the new solicitor you dont have too. Remember to keep writing things down. You are doing really well and you will get there in the end. you have been the only Daddy your son knows and you have every right to carry on being his Father

I spoke with the child law centre today, they confirmed that it's not worth loosing sleep over however I can ask for a verbal motion at the next hearing to dispense with this 'male'. I don't refer to his as the father, just a male that got her up the duff. He's married and has kids and is a lot older so there is no chance, the very fact is it could ruin his marriage!!

I've made progress with my legal aid application so I think at worst it will be a continuation at the next date.

He can pull up whatever he wants but I have nearly 1000 pages of evidence. Yes 1000 pages.

Turns out her last solicitor (The one that appeared in court) couldn't rep her any further because she had told him a pack of lies and doesn't think she stands much hope.

Was also told that even though court was on tuesday last week and contact is every saturday, the three day gap would be sufficient for her to arrange the contact centre in the courts eyes and thus, is breaking the order already.

If she fails this saturday, I'll be on the phone first thing monday to get her back in with contempt. The law centre actually thinks I should be doing that right now!!!

But, benefit of the doubt.....

Won't be seeing him this week either. Brill.

so whats her excuse now ?

If only I knew.

Look at it this way.

Court order granted 8 days ago. She had three and a half days to make a phone call to the contact centre to arrange an intake over the phone or in person.

She took 3 days to call them just to book it.

Now we're approaching this saturday which should be the second date of contact and she still hasn't been in for her appointment (obviously not wanting to do it over the phone) and I'm told it's not been made for this week either.

So we're now in to next week! Her solicitor doesn't know when it is so can't tell me and he is purposely not returning my calls. So he's got a surprise going to land on his desk come friday afternoon. Back to court it is.

She has no excuse (She's unemployed, not exactly a busy schedule) and the bar reporter requires to see my little one and I together as part of his report.

Hi, cant you make a contact centre appointment mind she wouldnt turn up. Go back to court asap. when is the night mare ever going to end. My son has just written to the court to post pone his review hearing, for the 21st feb as mediation was supposed to have been dealt with by the 24th Jan but they only had there assesment last week and the next one in march. All delay tactics Ive told my son to hang on in there as she cant keep useing the same excuses, these women hate loosing the control, when are the courts going to wake up and stop this nonsense, if they give them a job to do , like arrange mediation, like arrange a contact centre there going to drag there feet and carry on controling. You sound like a fighter , well done

I did my intake 20 mins after I left court, it's that easy.

She has deliberately booked the furthest away appointment as pay back, what she doens't realise is that she is already in contempt of court for missing last weekend (There were millions of appointments available!) and again this week.

Not only did she lie to her back teeth in the first hearing (Which I exposed) she's now done this to herself. It's pointless me booking anything when she hasn't even done her intake.

I just wish I was able to know a date that she has her intake and I would at least think twice about taking further action.

But sadly, the bar reporter wants to see my son and I together a couple of times as part of his report. He has next week and the following week to do so before his report must be complete and published.

She has absolutely NO excuse!

Bud I'd argue that bringing the father into the mix is a bad idea he's going to challenge it as if he was knocking her off whilst he was married then his marriage might be over. Also that means he;s liable for the CSA payments as well. NOw bearing in mind my child is nearly 7 and I've not seen them for 5yrs I cant just walk back into their life I've got to get in touch via cards and letters and gradually re-intergrate into thier life all to be done at the childs pace. This is something that will take months so something else to knock them back with plus if your lad knows nothing about him at all then it's going to leave him in a bit of a mess really I think you've got strong grounds for winnning your arguement.

I'm just going to outright ask for a verbal motion to dispense with the need for this guy to get involved. I think any sheriff with sense would see he can't contribute to things.

I spoke with her solicitor today who was again, very intimidating. At one stage he turned around and said 'look he's not your son'. At which point I put him in his place, without loosing the rag ofcourse.

So legal aid still not granted, contact still not started. She has an appointment booked, who knows when. But it's time to insert my thumb into my [censored] once more until her appointment has taken place or my legal aid is granted.

Yay.

Scratch that, in the past 5 minutes I've been told my legal aid has been granted.

Honestly, what a bunch. Absolutely brilliant folks!

Hint: Chase them yourself, don't wait for your solicitor to do it.

Brill news about legal aid now you can whoop there [censored]. I would write to the solicitors manager and complain, how dare he say that to you , hes not your son, what a [censored] head. It was alright when she wanted you to be his daddy. Good news at last

I've not had experience of using a solicitor on legal aid, but I would have a chat with them to see how much work you are able to do and how much needs to be done by the solicitor - you are intimately connected with your case, whereas you solicitor has a whole load of cases to deal with. You may find it helps to speed things along if you can help with the workload.

Just a wee update guys. Saw my little one yesterday for a couple of hours and it could not have went better.

Bearing in mind it's supported contact he walked into the room and made a beeline for one of the toy cars. I crept up next to him and he turned and at the top of his voice 'HI DADDY!!!!', could not get out of his car fast enough and ran round and gave me a big kiss and a cuddle and told me he missed me so much (He's not even 3).

Had a brilliant time, he must have said the word 'daddy' at least 200 times in the two hours and at the end I told him I had to go to work and said mummy was upstairs with some lunch. So he said 'bye bye daddy I wuv yoo' and gave me a big kiss on the lips and skipped off with the lady.

Can't wait until next saturday!

....So happy for you 🙂

brill m8 cant wait for that day to come must of been the best feeling ever

just a quick question how long did the process take in total to get to see him

Two months and three days

did u agree on first hearing

Nope, she accused me of assault and that I self harmed and so forth to which I already had a doctors letter confirming I had no history of anything and a police letter saying that there was no case to answer to, so the sheriff saw her account wasn't quite accurate.

She just couldn't think of an excuse not to let him see me in the end. She still maintains I am the worst dad in the world, but the best way I can describe it would be to watch some of the military homecoming videos on youtube and that is how my son reacted to seeing me.....

Doesn't take a smart [censored] to know what that means.

But at the same time, I know compared to other dads I am very lucky. But my case if anything just goes to show what you can achieve!

I am so very pleased that you got to spend some time with your little one. Sounds as though you both had a lovely time. :cheer: