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Hi all,
Briefly my story is that my son is just short of 2 and I split with his mother when he was 6 months old. Ever since then she has dictated to me that I could only visit my son in her house and under her supervision. After a few months I decided to go to mediation as it was too uncomfortable.
It was set out that I would have 4 hours every sunday outside of the house with my son where I could go where I wanted, but only 30 minutes drive away from her house ( I live 60 minutes drive away) but if my family want to see my son they can only see him in her house under her supervision which to me sounds ridiculous. My parents have visited on numerous times but she refuses to let me take my son to see his grandparents at their home.
Ultimately I want my son to stay at my house on alternate weekends which seems to be the norm for most fathers, and also take him where I please as long as I let her know where we are. I am now in a relationship with another woman, together for just over a year and she has a 7 year old son from a previous marriage.
She is refusing to let me change the arrangements unless we go back to mediation which was a waste of time for me as she is determined to not let my family see my son out of her supervision, or take him to my home.
I have been advised by a friend to submit the C100 form but I was wondering if I could have anbodys advice before i proceed?
Many thanks,
Dan
Hi There,
This really isn't uncommon and in fact I have just been through 12 months of court to get rid of these type of restrictions.
I would agree to mediation as the court will tend to ask for you to attend, even though you may have been before, if your ex is saying she wants to go you will come across as un willing to try if you don't.
Give it a fair crack at mediation first and if you can't agree MUCH better terms then look at court as it will probably speed the court prosess up to be able to show you have already tried mediation.
You can represent yourself in court and theres a great guide on here on how to do this so have a read it's in the legal section.
I would be going for no restriction and not needing to say where you are going as telling her isn't needed you are the father and are responsible although this may not seem to be an issue to agree to, it will give your ex the control that it sounds like she is wanting.
Any questions ask and we will try and answer as best we can.
Darren
That's great thanks Darren,
I understand what you mean about mediation. I might give my ex a ring today and try and get something moving but I know she won't agree to me having him away from her reach.
Well you never know, if you get a good mediator as that can make all the difference.
Try and go into it with an open mind.
But as said if it doesn't move anywhere, then when you go to court it will speed things up as it's already been done.
This is so similar to what I have been through so ask anything you need to know and i'll try and answer.
Keep us posted on what happens
I will do thanks.
Does having my 2 year old son for an alternate weekend, say saturday morning to sunday afternoon at my house seem unreasonable? I don't want to ask for too much if it's not realistic.
Thanks again.
That sounds perfectly reasonable, to me.
There is no "norm" where children are concerned as each case is different, however every other weekend is more than acceptable to most mediators/judges, it can vary from Friday evening to Sunday evening or Saturday morning to Sunday evening.
I would maybe ask for the Saturday morning to Sunday to start with but moving towards Friday to Sunday in the near future allowing both you, your son and his mum time to adjust to the new situation.
Don't forget to talk about additional time too for holidays, birthdays and christmas.
Darren
Hi i am new to this site please could you let me know how i would ask a question on the above topic - do i just type it here?
Hi I pay csa to my son and ex partner after been split for 8 years, she is moving to a new home and does not wish to give me
the address, she says if i want to see my son i will have to visit at her mums, we live about 100 miles apart anyway, i have never caused her or my son any problems and just wondered if anyone knows what my rights are? I am not bothered about knowing where she lives but i feel this is a bit unfair making me visit and her mums and not been able to take him out?
Hi Tony,
This is acceptable you and your son have a right to be able to spend quality time together what agreements were in place already?
Have you been through court or mediation, or was it just a private agreement?
Darren
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