[Solved] Contact Order Advice Needed

have you read yoji's guide to representing yourself at the top of the legal eagle section.

I would say that you need to avoid slinging any mud yourself - go in with the interests of the children and you are in the right direction. The courts aren't going to reduce contact as it sounds as though they have no reason to do so, and they will generally actively encourage increased contact if it is practical and in the childrens best interests.

Yeah I checked it out when I found this site the other day, it's a good guide and it looks like I've done my research well enough so far.

Thanks for the reply actd, have been going over all the eventualities and stressing myself out sick since I served the papers. Good to hear your points. I'll stick to the calm and clean approach and just let the courts see the situation on face value.

Hi there 🙂

I think you sound as if you have a good handle on the situation. I would agree with actd, but gather your evidence and keep the stuff you dont want to use in a separate folder. You wont need to submit your evidence at the first hearing but if they make allegations of drugs against you you can counter that with your own and ask for hair follicle tests to be done. If it comes from their side first they would be the ones to pay for the tests, at least thats what happened in my sons case.

At the first hearing there will most likely be some efforts at negotiation via the Court Advisory Officer (CAFCASS) who will be in attendance. If your ex has a solicitor they will want to talk to you too, so you should get a good idea of the direction the defence is going to take. If your ex has a solicitor then the court bundle will be their responsibility...thats how it usually works, although you will be asked to write a Position Statement. Yoji talks about this in his guide and gives an example. Heres another example of the format you should use -

www.docstoc.com/docs/121207197/Template-for-a-Position-Statement

Heres another good reference point for understanding the court process -

www.thecustodyminefield.com/mobile/FamilyLawMenu.html

Best of luck 🙂

Update:
I had the CAFCASS call on Thursday and explained the situation with the changing behaviour, flexibility and parameters and that I wanted PR and increased contact. I made no references to bad parenting and explained that I had told the PWC that the nurturing done by her was good and that I'd tried to get us to work together as a team in bringing our daughter up. I didn't bring up the past except for explaining a few of the false allegations made and also noting that there were drug and alcohol problems with her in the past but in the same breath stating that I was not interested in bringing up these things and that I only have my daughters best interests.

Directions hearing was today. Turned out to be the smartest father in the family division of the County court. CAFCASS interviewed the PWC first which went a long time. She's one of those that likes to make a point whether its defensive or aggressive she just likes to make sure its made. Her representative eventually bothered to greet me during this wait and surprisingly it was a woman and surprisingly she was playing the softly softly approach. I didn't get up which may look rude but I thought she'd pretty much stalled up to now and although I may be looking like one I'm not really one of the legal gang so lets not be too sycophantic. Her reflexes twitched to initiate a greeting but retracted almost immediately so I could see what kind of person I was dealing with. I gave her no info and said I will wait to hear what direction your client is instructing you and then we'll have a chat.

Meet with CAFCASS officer who was an old fellow with some interesting facial expressions. Explained the situ and the some of the history of allegations in the background checks, he told me she's not going down the roads of safeguarding issues or drugs and that she's happy when my daughters in my care so we agreed there shouldn't be any problems. Then her rep comes in and the real woman comes to play. We discuss the agreement. She writes her notes and tries to play hardball. I ask for a bit more than I wanted but skirted around what I actually wanted and calmly played down any allegations brought up in between. She takes an agreement of PR and an extra 45 mins of contact per session and introducing a 2 consecutive day weekend alternately within my weekly agreement so as to bridge an overnight stay being introduced into our routines. Her brief asked for it to happen per fortnight but I stuck with wanting the weekly contact until an overnight stay is introduced in a future review of the order. She said her client wanted a residency order I made no objection as this had been a stalling method over the last year and I couldn't care less, I'm not looking for custody. This is all I wanted. I mentioned the PIPplus course and that if I would be happy to attend providing flexibility around my work. She brought up maintenance I said it wasn't a legal issue and I'd stopped it because she'd not asked for it since her behaviour reverted to type after mediation. I would be happy to pay it when this order is granted. She brought it up again to the judge who told her it wasn't a legal issue and that the case was about contact and PR. Told the judge I was happy with the agreement and that once overnight stays are in place I would be looking for a midweek visit/stay. It was noted it but said that would not be looked at until after the changes in routine are more established. They were pleased we'd reached an agreement prior to court so the order for the rest was granted. We go back end of June for a review on progressing to staying contact.

Thanks for the support and good luck to everyone reading this.

Thats great news...well done! 🙂

As has been said before, preparation is key...you did your research and familiarised yourself with the Court process and it paid off. Its a real boost for the Dads on here when they read about others successes and it gives them the confidence to move forward.

I dont know if you noticed but the team have introduced a new section called "Blogs" and are inviting members to share their experiences there...nobody has posted yet, It would be great to kick it off with a positive experience! 😉