[Solved] Contact Order Variation and Prohibitive Step order

Hi ihhe,

Sorry to hear of your circumstance and glad you've found the site and info useful 🙂

You are correct, that as she has a Residence Order in place she can for up to 28days without giving notice. The catch is that if this time conflicts with a Court Order she at least needs to notify you that contact will not be happening on the given dates. This would also be a reasonable expectation of the Courts given the circumstances and if you returned for whatever reason.

You can obtain a variation on the original order. You simply need to raise a C100 again and attach the correct fee and a copy of the previous Order. I agree with the phone call, totally unreasonable, i've been there myself. I'd never dream of doing it, but thats the way it is im afraid.

One thing that i would really suggest is that given your variation is to consider the Courts view of your wanting full weekends and Mums time to weekends. If it is at all possible, would you perhaps instead consider including alternating mid-week "staying" contact? Me personally:

Plan a 2 week Contact rota:
Week 1: Full weekend Friday-Sunday + Midweek
Week 2: Partial plus mid-week Friday-Saturday

In so doing, you're keeping it simple, whilst still making it fair that (as difficult as she is being) Mum also has an opportunity at the weekend. In any event, its your application and you are entitled to raise it.

One solid element of advice i can give is that similar to the above, deal using numbers and a X week rota (to run back to back), in this way the "I got confused" excuse won't wash for very long because its either a Week 1 or a Week 2 (using the above rota) and it will allow you at least some control over the situation somewhat, reduces dictation and equally is fair on Mum too. Both parents want an opportunity with their children 🙂 thats how the Courts will see it too.

Thank you. I originally had midweek contact, for 2 hours. But it proved to be very impractical, as I live at least an hour drive from where my son lives with his mother. It was particularly difficult in the winter, so I gave up on that. Mid-week overnight wont really work as he goes to school and will have to wake him up at a ridiculous hour to get to school in time.

Another thing, has anybody ever contested the residence order and applied for one in their favour. I wonder what does she or need to do so I can a good chance and applying and being granted a residence order. I can definitely provide a more stable environment for my son than she can.

Also, she continues to threaten me if I miss picking my son up or have to miss a weekend if I travel. She says she can apply for variation to reduce my contact. I believe that the contact order is for her do adhere to and to ensure I have contact with my son and me missing some (rare dates) cant be used against me. Am I right?

Hi

In answer to your last question, you are correct in that the contact order is something she has to adhere to. However, in my own case (I have custody of my children), the orginal contact order was for twice a month, but my ex missed contact on a regular basis (sometimes with virtually no notice), so I went back to court for a variation to get contact reduced to once a month on the basis that my daughter needed certainty of contact. My ex didn't have a leg to stand on, and the reduced contact order was granted.

Guys thank you very much! I have now written to her that I will not allow her to take our son away for 4 weeks, as it will interfere with my contact. Will see what abuse Im going to get.

I understand your position, but I would try not to inflame the position - ultimately in this instance, she can take your child abroad under the terms of the contact order, and you are obvisously aware of this, even if she didn't notify you properly, so by refusing to give her permission, all you are doing is giving her a feeling of authority over you because you can't actually stop her going.

Hi IHHE

Read your post and I have and still am in some respects in a similar situation as yourself with regards to contact.
Contact order running now for nearly 6yrs, divorce from start to finish 4yrs (I contested and x petitioned as alleged grounds were fabricated as was everthing that followed separation) and finance drag'd out over that period as well. Solicitors/Barristers and self-rep through different parts of proceedings. And know how hard it is so I understand how you must be feeling.
Definitely go for a variation of your contact, as that's what I'm doing at the minute.
As to what you mention about your ex having residency my ex does to, and all they do with that is wave it around when they feel they need to show you they are in control (when obviously they are not).
Over the past 6yrs the ex has gone overseas every year with our daughter and only once informed me of this due to it coinciding with my contact , but stating in her solicitors letter if I Did Not Agree to let our daughter go away at that time I would be deemed as not having my daughters best interests at heart and not a caring father.
My reply to this was I would never stand in the way of our daughter Enjoying a holiday abroad as I wished for her to go, but in return due to the contact we would normally share being interrupted I would like them to offer extra alternative contact due to me having to adjust the time we would have had together. This in my mind would like wise prove how caring the otherside were.
So you could always use that approach let her go but ask for a little extra in return at a later date as goodwill, this you can then show as an example to the court of how reasonable and flexible you are, and if they don't well I looked at it like this the kids enjoy a holiday, I know its not much in the way of a answer but it might work out plus you can show the court you are looking at the best intrests of your kids.