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I have 3 children (14, 11 and 9) and split up from ex 8 years ago. Over the period since we split up our relationship has been antagonistic and bordering on parental alienation syndrome. We have no access agreement in place but the standard arrangement has been every other weekend and 2 weeks during the school holidays. Things have recently got worse since I remarried. Trying to get a date for the second week of access has been repeatedly ignored and 1 of my contact weekends on short notice with no dialogue. My kids are constantly telling me they want more time with me and I have asked my ex to consider family mediation in order that the childrens wishes are also taken to account suchour time together is treated with some respect. I am particularly worried that my youngest daughter has been exposed to a lot of bad mouthing about me by my ex and that as the older children fly the nest, the youngest will feel even more parental alienation.
The questions i have is whether it is worth going to court if my ex continues to refuse mediation? How do I properly document what the kids are saying or can I get someone independant like CAFCASS to document the childrens needs/wishes? Compared to others I realise the situation could be a lot worse, so should I just accept the situation given that I still do get access. Is there anything I can do to disuade my ex from poisoning the childrens mind?
I would say that you should not accept the situation as it is, because if your ex sees there is no opposition, the situation will almost certainly get worse. Keep a diary of all events, a court will accept this as evidence if it's kept as you go along (keep all events, not just the bad ones). At the age your children are at, I would certainly request that Cafcass are involved as their opinions will hold a lot of weight in court. It may be worth contacting the mediation service, and let them invite your ex to mediation, that way you have a record if she refuses, which will help in court.
Have a read of yoji's guides at the top of the legal section, as these will help you considerably.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
