[Solved] Control freak ex

Hi There,

I can sympathise with you as my ex is the same, I tried to live with her demands to start with but it just went too far so my only option was to go to court to get a contact order in place.

Hopefully you won't have to go that far, I would try and see if you can get your ex to attend mediation, to see if you can discuss the issues.

Darren

Thanks Darren,

At least i am not alone. I do feel that after spending 30 odd years thinking she is correct and that she has the right to correct other people, mediation may be a bit of a waste of time. I may give it a go though.
Does anyone know if people do actually have the right to dictate what occurs when kids are with the other parent?

Hi there and welcome to the Forum 🙂

The resident parent has the right to expect that the house where her children are staying is clean, but cant just turn up uninvited. Its your time with your children and its up to you what you do in that time.

Obviously if your current partner was violent or had convictions for child abuse or something similar, then she'd have the right to dictate, that goes without saying, but under normal conditions she doesnt have a say. Her behaviour is unreasonable in my opinion.

Heres a link to Mediation ~ www.nfm.org.uk have a look and give it some thought. It would be worth asking your ex if she would be willing to attend so that you can both sit down with a trained mediator and talk things through. If she fefuses it will go in your favour if you go to court.

the resident parent does have the ability to control contact, though they are expected to be reasonable about this, so although she can't demand most of what she is demanding, she could limit contact if you don't agree. The way around this is, as said above, either mediation if you can come to an agreement, and if not then a contact order. Once you have a contact order, then she cannot make those demands at all.

What they eat TELL HER THEY EAT HEALTHY(CAKE CHOCOLATE AND CHIPS LOL )
who they see EVERYONE THERE NOT SUPPOSED TOO
who they play with KIDS ON STREET
what they wear ONLY DESIGNER
cleanliness of house YOU HAVE A CLEANER !
what pets they can meet THE ODD SNAKE
where they go and what they do when there HAIR RAISING FAIR RIDES
When they see my partner ALL THE TIME COS YOUR NOT THERE

On a serious note , we have the same rules and we are taking the silly women to court, she even wants us to write every thing down, bit like home work . Dont delay fill in a c100

Well having evaluated the psychotic nature of the woman i feel that mediation would simply be a waste of time and would just end up with a lot of 'i never said that' and round and round we would go.

Ironically, the fact that she has left me so financially screwed means i qualify for full legal aid. may as well use it to go and talk to a solicitor.

So once a contact order is in place then all this attempted dictating can be treated with the contempt it deserves right?

...Well it gives you a more secure platform, you could address her unreasonable demands in court and get clarification that yours and your childs time is exactly that. 🙂

Some women still think its there god given right to control everything, court order or not!

As i am sure you can imagine, any acquiescence on my part is not to placate her but simply that if she does choose to attempt to limit my access then i would have to have time not seeing my kids while i wait for an order to be granted. Although it would hurt, i could do it, but it is not fair on the children in my opinion.

Thank you for your help. Solicitor is the next step i think.