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Hi all, not sure how to say this so bear with me if im all over the place.
split with my ex about 5yrs ago, she moved up country 220miles away. I have done my best to see them when I can usually every 6 weeks in school hols. used to have then for 4 or 5 days at a time.
last summer the ex asked if she could change the surname to hers I refused. since then things have gone down hill.
I get told I can see them but as in the past this never happens.
she now says that they don't want to stay over anymore, due to missing her and there friends to much. and the travelling is to far.
I wanted to hear this from them which they told me over the phone.
when I have visited them for the day recently , I asked them if they wanted to come away on holiday for a week they there excited , but this changed when they got home.
my eldest has a mobile he txt me sometimes , but in recent months I am torn that some of the txt are not writen by him.
I have tried to explain to my ex that it is important for them to see me but she say its up to them and she will not force them (kids are 8 and 6) even if I get a court order.
have tried mediation but so far she says she cant make the appointments due to sorting child care.
how do I get to see my kids I will not drag them kicking and screaming, just feels like she has won what ever I do.
recently me and my partener have had another child. I emailed my ex telling her that my maintainance payments will be reduced, the reply said fine my kids wont be able to do swimming lessons. but 4 days before she bought them a dog!!!(she knew we were have the little one) this followed by a txt from me boy that he hates me.
sorry for the randomness but its been a struggle in recent weeks
andy
I would think twice about the advice inviting them to disneyland - your ex could probably successfully block that, so you'd end up letting the kids down, even though it wouldn't be your doing. If you want to do something like this, go for Center Parcs or something similar in this country, that way you don't have to get a specific issue order, or worry about passports. If you can afford to do so, you could let them bring a friend with them as well - that way they are definitely going to be very excited about it.
thanks for your reply. my eldest is very sensitive and I can see he wants to please his mother.
at a loose end as what I can do. got to phone the mediation people about how long I need to wait for her surely not indefinatly?
can I start court proccedings before mediation?
No, you don't have to wait indefinitely, I'd see what the mediation service says about this.
Children do have a tendency to want to please the parents - whichever one they happen to be with at the time - it's a coping or survival mechanism.
I would love to take them to Disney orlando but I realise the problems with that. just want to get dates set in stone and someone to tell her to be a decent mother .
seems like us dads get the raw deal all the time surely the powers that be can see this???
andy
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