[Solved] court order

The Children Act 2004 is the legislation designed to protect a child or a young person who is under the age of 18 from abuse and neglect.
If social workers are made aware that a child or young person might be at risk, they are under a duty to investigate to find out whether that child needs to be protected.
Once Social Services or the Police receive a referral regarding suspected child abuse, (in your case neglect) they undergo an initial assessment of the case to decide the appropriate course of action and the following will be covered:
child/young person's developmental needs
child/young person's gender, race, culture, religion and sexual orientation
parents/carers capacity to meet the child's needs and other children within the household
environmental and social factors that could impact on the child
help of support services if required.

Parents and carers of the child should be informed of the referral. This should be avoided in cases where the parents/carers would place the child the referrer or any others at immediate risk.
Following this contact Children's Services will then make a decision about how and when the parents should be approached.

Depending on the nature of the child's situation the strategy discussion could take the form of a meeting or maybe a host of telephone calls. If the case is more complex several meetings or regular phone contact might be necessary.
If a meeting is the preferred option a central location will be identified where the key people can attend such as:
School, College or University
Police station
Council offices or children's social care premises
Local Safeguarding Children Boards

The outcome of the strategy discussion is to decide whether a section 47 enquiry is suitable for this case and if so the core assessment framework should be followed and completed in conjunction with the Children Act 1989.

Thank you for the reply, I suspect she deliberately sends him in dirty clothes and unwashed just to play mind games I am just worried ringing social services will cause more harm than good! What will happen if they suspect she is taking drugs at the house my son lives in?

Hi I agree with the dirty clothes and unwashed bit, I expect she's doing it on purpose Me and NJ have been through the same with our Grandchildren, I used to buy expensive clothes and shoes for my grandchild , now its Primark you can get tons of clothes , for very little money and bath and change them, I've even taken her to the supermarket bought clothes and changed her in the loo !! I must admit my grandchild is bathed every nite just stained clothes
If you really strongly believe your son is being neglected and in danger then you have a duty of care to have her investigated by phoning the ss or police , but be warned she will know you have done this and could make it very difficult to see your son , you can do it anonymously I suppose or get some one else to do it

Hi there and welcome 🙂

I think you need to look further than the outward appearance and look at things like how he is in himself, is he quieter than usual, is he clingy and just wants to be cuddled all the time? Is he pale are his eyes sad, how's his appetite? Its these signs that will tell you what he cannot.

If you talk to the Social Services and tell them you think the mother is taking drugs and you feel your son is being neglected, they should investigate...I say should because the quality of care given by the SS varies widely from area to area....If your local authority is on the ball then they will most certainly investigate by paying the mother a visit and taking it further if they dont like what they see.

As ak57 points out this may well put a strain on your relationship with the mother, but in my opinion the needs of your child must come first.

Have you tried talking to her about your concerns? Ask her why she isnt addressing his personal hygiene needs. and why his clothes are dirty. Ask her if she is finding it hard to cope and if she need help to get things back on track...as ak57 says Primark, Asda, Matalan they all have really inexpensive clothes ranges for children, Ebay and charity shops are other places that good quality almost new clothes can be sourced.

I, like ak57 had to buy my 4yr old grandson clothes and bath him when he came to us (my son, his daddy lived with me at the time)...annoying yes but more worrying was his demeanor...he was being neglected and there were drugs and drink involved...the SS were useless but my son took matters into his own hands, took on the mother and got full custody. So sometimes outward signs can signal neglect and abuse, you just have to look further...

As I dont have him a lot it is.hard to gauge his.wellbeing, he is very demanding very tearful if.dont get his own way, and falls quite often, his.eyes are black and his skin quite sallow, soon as he is with me he asks to go home, when he is due.home he dont want to go.

Hi , how old is your son if you don't mind me asking and how often do you have him

He is 3 I have every other weekend.

That's great you have him alt weekends. It sounds like you are a caring Dad. what sort of things do you do with him, when hes whinging to go home

...dark eyes and sallow complexion, he might not be getting fed properly....being tearful and a bit precious just sounds as though he is confused which is understandable ....he's only 3, just a baby. You could try having a word with his health visitor, they are responsible for children up to the the age of 5 and his GP surgery should be able to tell you how to get hold of her.

He doesn't actually cry to go home to me it's like he says it but without conviction, I have said ok then I will call mummy he then has a tantrum that he wants to stay, am confused so heaven knows how he must be feeling.

Thanks for the advice, I asked for the name of his go she refuses to tell me.

You have the right to know who his GP is! I am assuming you have Parental Responsibility which means you are on his birth certificate. I suggest you write to the local Health Authority and explain the situation and ask them to tell you who he is registered with. I would tell the mother what action you are going to take and that you have parental rights and being kept informed about his health and education are part of that!

Have you thought about trying Mediation? It might help to sit with a trained Mediator and discuss all of your concerns and see if you can't get her to make some changes. If this doesn't work and the situation doesn't improve, you will have no choice but to think about involving Children's Services. Here's a link to the Mediation website.... They do charge for the service but if you are on benefits or a low income you can still apply for Legal Aid.

www.nfm.org.uk

If you have Parental Responsibility, you have a right to know who your son's GP is.

I would agree with NJ to try the mediation route and write to the Health Authority.

Your son's condition does not sound too healthy and his behaviour are of concern, yes he is only 3 and a baby still, but he sounds very confused too...bless him 🙁

...it's very distressing to see a child being neglected, I know from experience...my grandson was only 3 when things started to go downhill for him. We felt so helpless, none of the agencies would listen to us and even when Social Services became involved and put him and his half sister on the child in need register they were ineffective in the extreme. 🙁 ...they were on an OFSTED improvement order for failing the children in their care!

None of it stopped us fighting for him, we kept the pressure on and never gave up. He's been with his Daddy, my son, for just over two years and he's a happy well adjusted, bright little boy...gone is the pale skin and dark sad eyes, to be replaced by rosy cheeks and eyes that dance and sparkle with happiness! He's one of the reasons I try to help as many Dads as I can here....every child is special! 🙂

I guess what I'm saying is I know how hard it is but keep at it, he really needs you to defend and protect him...better to step in now instead of waiting for his situation to hit critical.

Best of luck 🙂

Oh bless NJ..I know as a parent and grandparent how angry and frustrated I would be too, but I am so happy it worked out for you. Unfortunately you have to keep working/pressing at it, look at that case in the news this week again where SS completely bxxxxsed a case up.

Thanks to all for the advice I will certainly write to the health authorities about access to his gp details, very sad world we live in when the mother uses there child in their sad mind games....I am not entitled to any legal aid which is hard as I would like professional help, however I have found this forum to be honest genuine and support, thank you

Unfortunately it is laddie and many do it, I am ashamed of being female sometimes when I hear what is said 🙁

I think we can all take heart from the fact that it is only a small minority of mothers, and fathers too, that behave badly. Most parents take their responsibilities seriously and do what is right by their children....but we only hear about the cases where its gone wrong! But yes I have felt ashamed of my own [censored] since I've been here! 🙁

Please do keep us updated about the situation and try not to worry, if you need to take it further we will be here for you 🙂

Aaaargghhhh - NJ & EnyaM - stop feeling ashamed, and look at the good work the two of you are doing on here. 🙂 There are bad people out there - it just so happens that some are mums, and others are dads but they don't represent the majority of either.