[Solved] court review after 6 months at contact centre

I would suggest that you go for a short time away from the contact centre, with increasing time as long as it goes well, up to using the contact centre as a handover point only, and then dispensing with the contact centre altogether - draw up a suggested timetable of dates for the court to add into the court ourder so that there is no ambiguity.

i was hoping for more than that, the last 3 months at contact centre were 3 hour visits fortnightly, so would hope i wouldn't get any less than that, i just don't know how the court works.

Hi Thomas,

I agree that the court should extend the time you spend with your daughter, I also think that ACTD is right to suggest some time away from the contact centre. Perhaps you can suggest that you'd like to take your daughter out for the day using, as ACTD suggests, the contact centre as a handover point only?

I'm assuming that feedback from the contact centre is positive? This should give the court confidence and, hopefully, you'll be able to extend the time you spend with your daughter by another few hours and build towards an overnight stay that can become a regular feature of the time that you spend together. What would your ideal scenario be?

i was hoping for more than that, the last 3 months at contact centre were 3 hour visits fortnightly, so would hope i wouldn't get any less than that, i just don't know how the court works.

Generally the courts encourage contact with the non-resident parent unless there are welfare issues - since contact has gone well, then I can't see why a court wouldn't agree to increasing contact. However, it's less likely to suddenly go from supervised (however minimal) contact to totally unsupervised contact - especially with your ex opposing. That's why I suggested drawing up a timetable - it's something reasonable that the court can put into the order, so is enforceable, and means you don't need to keep returning to court to get increased contact.

Hi again Thomas,

The courts do tend to err on the side of caution and I agree with ACTD that it's probably unrealistic to expect immediate overnight contact, especially given your ex's attitude towards you. However this is obviously something that you are working towards. Overnights are, in my opinion, essential to the bonding process.

I'm assuming that CAFCASS are involved in your case? Have you had a report from them at all? I seem to recall that in one of your earlier posts you mentioned that you had been threatened by your ex's new partner and that the police had been called. Have the police disclosed an incident report to CAFCASS?

It seems to me, given the information you've provided, that the contact centre is for your safety and welfare just as much as your daughters. ACTD's suggestion of a timetable is a great idea, as is his suggestion of slowly increasing the amount of contact you have away from the centre. When you attend court I would certainly suggest that you request that the court increase contact from 3hours to say 11am-5pm and grant permission for you to take your daughter to the park, or for something to eat, during this period.

If all contact has gone well so far and if you have a positive report from CAFCASS I see no reason why you cannot expect to build on this and spend more time with your daughter in the coming months with a view to overnight contact 😀

the only reason for going to the contact centre was because she wouldn't agree to letting me have the baby anywhere else because she didn't know me after 9 months, it was decided that the centre was the best place for us to get to know each other again starting with 1 hour the first month 2 the second month and 3 hours for the next 4 months, it wasn't supervised, that's something completely different, there are volunteers there but they just let you get on with it, they had more trouble from her refusing to leave, they threatened her with the police after the 4th visit so she had no choice. in all those months she wouldn't even give permission for me to take her to the park, 3 hours in one room with a 21 month old was just so hard, she'd get bored although i did everything i could to keep her amused, that's how selfish she is, no thought for my daughter at all. the centre doesn't make reports for the court that's only for supervised visits, they only report if there's any danger to the child. since the first boyfriends threats she's on her 4th now! all of them having more contact than me, but cafcass not interested in that, am currently being threatened again by her latest one. i just want to see my daughter as often as i can but i know it's gonna be a struggle, i know she's going to say no to everything, am i allowed to let the judge decide if i don't agree with cafcass? they just seem to let her have everything her own way! maybe it will be different now she's got to know me, she never once cried for her mum not even at the beginning she's been so good and i worry about her with all these different men in her life, she must be so confused

Hi Thomas,

Unfortunately there's very little you can do about your ex's choice of partner, but you need to keep a record of this threatening behaviour. It's easy enough if it's by text, email, Facebook etc, but you should also note down instances were you are being threatened in person or over the telephone. It's unacceptable. However, if you decide to make a complaint to the police, your ex could react by making contact even more difficult.

Clearly CAFCASS has recommended that you have contact, so I would expect that the court would also want to encourage that. You make an excellent point about having a two year old couped up in a room for three hours. As ACTD mentioned previously I would submit a timetable suggesting an incrimental increase in the time that you spend with your daughter. I would certainly suggest that you request an immediate increase from the 3 hours you currently have and also ask for the court to grant you permission to take your daughter out of the contact centre. Explain that you want to be able to spend the day with your daughter and build towards overnight contact a little further down the road.

Hang in there and let us know how you get on with the review next week!

thanks guys