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Hi all
I could do with some advice on the off chance that anyone can relate to my situation.
I am divorced, with two step children, having been separated over a year now. As a result of that divorce I have had a court order requiring me to pay both spousal and child maintenance plus school fees to my step children and their mother. This is taking 50% of my post tax income already. The legal bit here is that they are classed "children of the family" even though we were married just 6 years and they are now 18 and 12 years old. I have not adopted them nor do i have parental responsibility
Further to that, I had a brief relationship 5 months ago and she is pregnant. Baby due in April. She won't put me on the birth certificate because she knows it will give me parental responsibility and she doesn't want interference from me. She has spoken to the CSA and knows she's entitled to 15% of my post tax income. If you're adding it up, that's 65% of my post tax income gone already come April!
I have spoken to the CSA - they have told me that (a) it doesn't matter to them whether I am on the birth certificate, and (b) they don't care that I am paying maintenance already to step children, they disregard it for their calculations.
I have always been a good dad, and in the three children I have/will have, in no case will I have parental responsibilty, no right to see them, but every obligation to pay - living on a third of my net income is very dispiriting.
What can I do? the CSA won't help as they disregard my payments such that I am going to be paying much more than the 20% net income for two children in my current arrangements! I don't know how to make sure I get on the birth certificate - she has decided to ignore my calls/texts now and so I am left in limbo. Can I use the fact she is ignoring me in any way?
It certainly feels to me like the law is loaded against fathers - be they biological or natural. And it just feels noone can help me.
Has anyone any advice or suggestions for what I could do? I just want something fair for payments with access to my daughter to be and my name on the certificate so I can be a good dad.
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