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Since 2005, access and maintenance has been agreed privately between my ex-wife and myself. My son is now 11 years old and has his own views on how he wants to spend his time. I have tried to be as flexible as possible and accommodate what he wants even if it means I have been unable to have him overnight when I am supposed. As a result of this, the number of overnight stays he has with me has reduced. My ex-wife has now told me that she has gone to the CSA to claim more money based on the number of overnight stays he has with me, even though it is not me who has changed the original private agreement. Surely she cannot have it every which way?
I am unsure what to do. I cannot afford to pay more than I do already and if I try to force my son to stay overnight when he is supposed to in order to see him and maintain the current level of maintenance payment, I run the risk of him becoming resentful towards me.
What view will the CSA take of the situation? Is it as clear-cut as no. of overnight stays even though the reduction has been lead by my ex-wife/son and not myself?
I'm afraid unfortuately they work on multiples of 52 nights, and it is simply where he stays without any look at the reasons why. However, your ex should be trying to encourage him to have regular contact, and if she isn't doing this, then perhaps yuo could have a discussion to change days when you have contact so you can maintain the current level of contact.
I'd love to see my son more but my ex-wife is inflexible with access and does not participate in the pick up and drop off of my son, which often means I can't see him. Just doesn't seem fair that she will receive more money from the CSA because she makes it difficult for me to see my son.
Perhaps it would be worth considering mediation with your ex to get proper contact, and if she isn't prepared to try this, then you could look at going for a contact order.
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