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D-Day tomorrow….am sh*tting myself now I’ve finally read the CAFCASS report, they actually have said that they see no reason contact shouldn’t be resumed but my ex’s false allegations lead them to believe that there is an escalation of harassment by me to my ex and that as that is recorded with the police they suggest the court take that in to consideration regarding overnight weekend contact, although they have no concern over my son being in contact with me! [censored]?!
Also due to the alleged harassment and her lies to police they also say I should attend Anger or Stress management classes before full contact resumes! Hmmm….me Angry….you’re god dam right I’m angry!
Angry that her lies have been believed and angry that the police are dragging their heals in reversing the harassment warnings that were given to me in their good faith on her word but never fully investigated and therefore I was guilty without investigation! Angry that as a Woman she automatically is believed over a Man and that i must be guilty cos she cries n acts so well....oh and that she knows the law haveing done a law degree!!!
Well now that’s just great!!!! I have to wait to prove I’m the victim and harassed party in this cr*ap and yes I have the proof!!! i've rasied a compalint against the police and am now dealing with their Professional Standards Directorate and Complaints Dept.
But the thing is will court believe that i've done nothing wrong? will they [censored], as its still her word that is being believed on paper right now?!
Having said my little rant here I have to say that the Cafcass and contact centre reports are fantastic for me as they show her to have big problems letting go of our son….and that the 2 observed contacts I had with him were very good for both him and me…….but again I’m sure they will favour the mother and her lies! They seem to do don’t they! After all why are Fathers4Justice around if family courts actually did help and believe the truthful fathers see their kids.
I pray that they see that I had regular contact even after her first false allegation and up until I went to court for a defined contact order! That says everything to me….phrase ‘stirring the hornet’s nest’ comes to mind……and there certain isn’t a more vicious sting to hurt me than using my son……had i not taken her to court then i'd be still seeing my son i'm sure but as n when n where she says and if i disagreed then i'd not see him!
Well she can’t control me anymore, I started the legal fight October last year and tomorrow will be just the next fight…..
I'm fairly sure that a contested hearing will be my update to this post tomorrow afternoon!
no point wishing me luck....luck implies i have a chance.....where as i know this is a well marked deck of cards by her and i have a million to once chance of winning! i'm a Man! the game was over for me the day i started this battle.
John
Hi,
With the risk of "stiring the hornets nest" even more, I have to dissagree with "some" of your comments.
I feel a lot of what you say is true, I have seen male friends treated badly by the courts and the lies thier ex's have given believed, however I have also seen many female friends have lies told about them by thier male ex's (I am in no way comenting on your case here just my observations of friends cases) I am under no illusion that it can be down to luck of the draw and the judge on the day.
It's very easy to say the court have a downer on men and that they always side with the females, but you have to bear in mind that not all males are innocent (again not a comment about you or your case just a general statement), so the court have to ensure they protect children and thier mothers you can read in the papers all to often about fathers who have beaten, abused thier children/wife or ex wife, and yes I know this can be the same the other way but not as common, the court have a duty of care for all in attendance and have to act on the information given. your caffcass report will hopefully go along way in helping.
I'd like to think that it is never a cut and shut case, the court (for me anyway) have looked at what is best for my son and they took the caffcass report in to account they questioned my ex and asked why she wanted what she did, and when she replied her well rehearsed lines they questioned some more where she fell apart and her solicitor had to step in they didn't just listen to her and take her word for everything. I had my chance to say what I wanted and get my point accros (I didn't take a solicitor)
My only advise is be clear as to what you want from court and ensure that you can back up what ever the judge ask you, your in the right so you can be clear, when lies are told it's very difficult to continue the lie when asked to explian it.
I won't say good luck but instead say I hope it goes well for you.
Hi John
Thinking of you today and, like Darren I hope that it all goes well for you today. Let us know how you get on.
Hello mate
Keep your chin up, hope everything went well for you today. I'm sure I speak for a lot of other guys on here when I say we're all routing for you to get the contact you want with your son
Well…..not even a glimmer of her being reasonable…..so as predicted it goes to a contested hearing. At least there I get to show all the proof and evidence I have from the last 3 years of her emotional and domestic abuse towards me! Well that’s the theory at least!
First court said 3rd week in September but she said she couldn’t make it due to going on holiday that week! – I can’t afford a holiday cos I’m paying everything to see my son!
Then court said mid November [censored]!....they saw how disappointed and upset I was….my solicitor did at least say that would be then almost a year since my ex conveniently stopped contact after I decided to apply for defined contact at court!!! They finally agreed on the end of Aug. that will still have been 10 months since I had fairly regular (when she let me) contact with my little boy!
Upset….disheartend……disappointed…..gutted….. I can see why so many dads don’t see their kids…..cos the courts and mothers make it so difficult, hard and heart wrenching for them that they give up……maybe they can’t afford to fight on….(i’ll be there after the next hearing)….maybe they can’t take the emotional pain n heartache…(I’m struggling with this)…..
My sanity and emotional wellbeing is being tested beyond what I thought I was capable of handling…..well at the moment the tablets take the edge off things and in time I’m sure I’ll find a way to manage the stress and pain better……..for now……I wait on legal advisors and people to do the right thing and do the right thing for my son……hope that will eventually include me in his life…….
I miss my little boy so much.
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