[Solved] Dad help with CAFCASS

Hi, my son has recently had the call and the first hearing. They tell you this is a quick call,They ask if you have any welfare concerns over your child living with the Mother, my son replied none. we didnt want to sling the mud. But although the mother said she didnt have any welfare concerns BUT ! here it comes, she said all communication had broken down (her doing not my sons) cafcass put in the report it was a grave concern. She then said my son does not listen to instuction regards routine, again not true, never had any and the biggy she said my son had been verbally abusive to her in front of the child, again so not true, cafcass said again this was a great concern and went on about the childs well being. All this went in the report . Cafcass recommended they attend mediation to learn how to communicate. At court cafcass interview you privately you then go in the court room, you are in the room about 10 minutes what ever was put forward the mum said no, if you have not done mediation they will ask you to, if you have already tried that and got the fm1 form signed they postpone for about 10 weeks and ask for reports by cafcass, cafcass will then recommend the action and the Judge usually goes with it. What was so wrong is cafcass put there veiws in the report with out coming back and asking you if there true. you will not need your notes at this stage, but take them any way. What I learnt from this was dont expect anything to happen at the first hearing or the second. Try to relax and dont get to worried

Many thanks ak57 for taking the time to respond.

Wow, frighteningly similar to my situation...I too have been accused of "angry outbursts"!?! I should seek help...and then...I can see my child (the ex's words). Yes as a couple we 'both' have argued, show me a couple who haven't, however it's never been in front of the kids. We went to mediation, had an agreement in place, but the next morning 3hrs before I was due to see my daughter the ex said, "no I didn't agree to the arrangement I was bullied into it by the mediator...your not seeing her". Contacted mediation Monday morning and she wanted to go straight through the legal route! Very clever, throughout the last 2mths of sols correspondence she has said sort out the angry bursts and the contact can resume...there's no anger issues, it's just another obstacle to prevent me seeing my child. Apologies I've go off on a tangent. Nevertheless reading your sons situation I don't know if I should actually express my concerns to CAFCASS as I haven't said anything as yet because I ain't that kind of bloke to slate someone else. But I'm being accused of untrue stuff.

There are NO welfare concerns on both sides, however it seems to be aimed at me rather than what's in the best interests of my daughter. They say (CAFCASS and stories I've read) there is an opportunity to resolve at the first hearing, which to be perfectly honest I'm willing to do, so I can restablish my bond with my daughter, as I haven't seen her now for 2 months.

To be honest I couldn't bare another 10 weeks!

I thank you for your answers there very useful, just not sure which way to go, if a report isn't even going to a true acoount of things.

Thoughts welcomed.

Harry

My son was told by cafcass she would phone him back to defend any alligations, she didnt phone. I would that you went to mediation and explain what happened I would say she has accused you and its unfounded, you need to get it in as she will
Did you get the fm1 form filled in. They may re-start contact at the first hearing but if she tells cafcass you have been abusive then they may insist on a contact centre , Good luck

Yes, the FM1 form was completed.

My little princess is 11mths old and not sure if this will have a different conclusion to your sons?

The ex has suggested a contact centre which I'm literally investigating, although meeting in these types of places does make things seem so dramatic, as I'm left feeling like a criminal. But I'll do anything to see my baby and more importantly for her to have a relationship with me, so if it means a CC I'll go.

If I stick to the truth hopefully it will prevail.

Thanks for your help and if there's anything else you can add please feel free.

Harry

Contact centres shouldn't be viewed as anything other than a safe place for children to have contact. They have the added advantage that it takes away any issues during contact of being your word against your ex's. My daughter saw her mother at the local contact centre for years - initially as supervised contact, and then later as supported contact/handover point.

Hi actd,

Thank you for your input. While I fully understand and completely agree the safety of my daughter is paramount...I am in no way a threat to her, to be funnelled into a contact centre and perceived as a danger when I have done nothing wrong is in itself wrong. I'm a loving, willing, caring father and want nothing more than for my daughter to have the opportunity to have a quality fun loving relationship with me.

My apologies if this post comes across a little blunt it's not ment too, although contrary to your situation with your wife (which I don't know the full details), I wouldn't want my daughter to grow up for years having a relationship with me through a contact centre, when my ex has made up false allegations.

Prior to medaition and now court intervention, I was seeing my baby 'unsupervised' in libaries, costa etc, while the ex went off shopping, nothing changed thereafter and it's only now since I've tried to establish "routine" access through a legal route that I've been met with these allegations.

look forward to your input.

Harry

Hi Harry

Apologies, my post wasn't at all clear - although contact centres are often used where one parent is a threat to the child in some way, I wasn't for a moment suggesting that was the case in your situation. What I meant was that because the CC are used for this purpose, they are quite often perceived as being the only reason why contact takes place there, and that's not the case at all. The contact centre can act as a handover so you don't have to have any contact with your ex (which was why I continued to use the contact centre for so long), and you can also use it to give you backup that contact is going extremely well and will give you independent witness to that, so you can move on from that - generally, I believe contact centres see themselves only as an interim solution anyway - you can use the time there to give added weight that what your ex is saying is unfounded,

Hi actd,

Thanks for clearing things up and your advice wasn't taken in the wrong way 🙂

It's very much 'case-by-case' I guess and it's the latter part of your last post which is applicable to me. After mediation and an agreement in place, the next day 3hrs before I was set to see my daughter the ex pulls the plug saying she was bullied in to it by the mediator?!? I had access prior to that albeit irregular, supervised (with the ex there) and unsupervised. Then legal intervention and now CC suggested because of unfounded allegations by her,

So yes I agree with it will hopefully enforce that I would do anything to establish my relationship with my daughter and if it has to be a CC it has to be. I too see it at as an interim point and just hope the first directions hearing soon we will be able to reach an agreement for our little girl.

PS: I did originally ask if anyone knew what CAFCASS would specifically ask at the initial telephone call and on the day?

Any help appreciated

Harry

Hi Harry, not a problem 🙂

I've moved your cafcass post to the legal section and added a brief reply - hopefully others will add more information as it's been a few years since I dealt with them, and I was in a different position to you.