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I am mid-way through a contact - shared residence application and have a couple of questions!
1:
My ex made some absurd allegations about me in a non-molestation affidavit that i contested and resulted in me finally making an undertaking . She said that I was a heavy drinker and had a terrible temper. There is no evidence of either in the past and I requested alcohol testing, hair and liver function which has now indicated I am a teetotaler.
She has proved herself to be a liar throughout the proceedings as she also stated various lies that I provided evidence against. For example she said the police had warned me not to contact her, I provided evidence from the police data protection dept to say this wasnt the case, she said also that the mediator had said he couldnt mediate between us, I provided evidence to prove she refused etc etc. The main allegations were meant to suggest i was a threat to her and also my daughter although Cafcass safeguarding reports concluded there was no threat and there is certainly no history of any damaging behaviour. I have requested Cafcass get involved again to do a welfare report which is about to happen to aid my contact application.
My question is, can I take action against my ex for defamation or slander ? The reason i would consider this is for the record to be set straight for my family and my daughter in particular, later in life, so my ex cannot continue to suggest I am a bad person to her.
I suspect that statements made in court may be exempt but I can find no info on this with the mighty Google.
2:
I will be sending a letter to my ex's family pointing out the truth after all the legal shenanigans have concluded. This letter will reveal the dangerous and illegal behaviour of various members of her family and concerns I have about my daughters contact with them. My Ex's mother is drunk most nights and I dont want her driving my daughter in the mornings, my ex's brother takes a lot of drugs and i dont want him having sole care. The question is can I be threatened with legal action for stating facts I cannot prove about various family members to other family members in letter form?
This stuff has been playing on my mind and I would really appreciate some guidance. Thanks.
Hi,
I am led to believe taking action against defamation or slander, would mean Criminal court/law not family court/law,
Defamation or slander is not taken as a serious offense and she will not get a criminal record for it. However, I could be wrong.
Been round that block myself, exact same allegations etc. All cases are different and all results are different.
My experience resulted in this:
Judge advised me to grow up and be a man, the old phrase" Sticks and Stones"
As for writing to Ex family with no evidence would be used against you as " he is the trouble maker, look what he done"
Setting the record straight: please see my thread on Taking a judge to court, you may find you get a tip, a tip stronger then a silly worthless statement which holds no water.
My advise would be, dont beat your self up about it, time is a good healer.
GOOD LUCK
Hi Matty,
I've been where you are now and it's a horrible situation. To have those kind of false allegations made against you is pretty soul destroying. Well done for fighting your corner and coming through it.
I think that satements made in court or in parliament are exempt from slander and libel, which is goverened by civil law here in England and Wales. I'm not sure that police statements are covered by the same court or parliamentary privledge. However I think civil action would cost you a fortune and, in truth, would this money not be better spent on doing things your daughter? Letting her form her own opinion of you?
Ironically if you write to them making accusations that you can't substantiate you could yourself be liable to allegations of slander. Worse than that though - given current UK criminal law - they could actually report you for harrassment.
Concentrate on seeing your daughter Matty. No one else really matters.
FM '70
Thanks for the info TC and FM .
I think it is probably only natural to want to clear your name but the advice is spot on when you talk of time being a healer and my relationship with my daughter being the most important thing. I am very aware that I may be considering these courses of action for the wrong reasons. The shock and awe of the seperation and subsequent chain of events have subsided significantly and a course of action for the next phase seems to be foremost on my mind. This process is a rollercoaster and hearing from someone who has ridden it and got off certainly adds perspective.
The one thing that has brought me through all of this has been my knowledge I am the one out of the pair of us who is thinking about my little girl first so it would be a shame to feel in the future I had stirred things up amongst her family for the wrong reasons.
I will take a step back and review my options in a good few months.
Sincere thanks to all who offer advice here, its invaluable to read through the posts and know we are not the only ones going through this nonsense!
Hi matty,
Hope we can help:
1. Slander etc... if this is being done through Family Courts... honestly forget it... you won't get it
2. That's a very bad idea and you could be done for slander
I'd advise against both options. You're seemingly ahead in what you are asking (contact being shared), get on with your Shared Residence hearings and afterwards... let sleeping dogs lie.
Hi Matty
I would forget completely about slander/defamation.
Firstly, I'm not sure if putting it in a statement in court counts as publication, so it may not even count - it is probably more perjury, but the family courts almost expect that may happen - their job is to ascertain the truth.
Secondly, an action is something you won't get legal aid for, and you are potentially talking tens or hundreds of thousands of court costs with (preusmably) no chance of recovering costs and compensation from your ex.
I agree with yoji - unless you can prove what you are saying in a statement, I'd be reluctant to put it in - concentrate on what you can prove and what you are after.
In addition, do not, under any circumstances, write to your ex's family about what went on in the legal proceedings - legally, you can't even reveal the contents of the contact order to anyone not directly concerned with the welfare of the children (so family is not allowed, schools etc are allowed) - if you do, it's contempt of court and the courts do not take this lightly.
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