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Hi all,
I've received a copy of my ex's defences from her solicitor, although at first I thought it was a copy of a joke book. I have no issue with getting evidence against some of the things claimed but I just don't know what the [censored] to do with the document now.
We're back in court on friday for a welfare hearing, however I'm going to ask for it to be continued as we are still waiting on a report. I do believe her solicitor will try and stop contact at the next hearing but I don't think it will happen as contact has been outstanding.
My son yesterday, at barely three years old REFUSED to leave my side and made it clear to the contact centre staff I WANT TO GO HOME WITH DADDY and eventually we had to get mum to come into the room and take him, to which he ended up in tears.
But I just don't know what I do with this defences document. It claims things such as, I booked an appointment for her to get an abortion........Do you think an abortion clinic would allow a male to make such an appointment for a female? NO!
Silly things like that which I have no problem disproving, I just don't know when or what to do next.
I've managed to answer my own question so to help others here is the answer.
The defences that my ex has sent to me (Remember I don't have a solicitor) will not mean a single thing unless/until the case goes to a 'proof' hearing. This is months away and the court will not see the defences statement until then.
As I am in Scotland I submitted an initial writ at the very start with the facts from my point of view or the 'condesendence' as it's called. The defence statement is essentially her version of events based on what I said in the condesendence, plus a few wee lies thrown in for good measure.
So in effect, this statement is harmless until it gets to the proof stage, if a sheriff wants a proof hearing in the first place.
In my particular case, I already have an interim order granted for contact. Therefore anything that she has said in the defences that has just arrived in the post should have been said at the interim hearing to stop me from getting the order in the first place.
So my understanding is that I need to 'respond to the defences' to essentially shoot down any allegations she has made. How I go about this is something I will need to find out. My main worry was that I had to use this defence statement in some way by the next hearing this coming friday!
Hi nice to have your update, Im sure theres a few of us that have been following your posts.
When you first get these papers you can read through and think the worst and your emotions can get the better of you.
I would make a copy of the papers then get a marker pen and highlight all the things you think need replying to. Then type up your reply using bullet points try not to get to involved with she said this you said that, just a simple statement , saying you agree or disagree, if you disagree be ready to say why, most of what she is saying is proberbly trying to paint you in a bad light, this is about you and your son not you and hers relationship.
The contact centre... poor little chap how upsetting it is for him I know how you feel my GD keeps asking why cant we go to Nannies why cant we go to Daddys she is three also, so not far on the little ones at least we can take her out but not out of the area, its like being on a curfew, suprised these mothers dont put a tag on us. Do you take activities for him to do to keep him busy. My GD loves making cards, we buy card and stick glue and anything we can find in a pound shop she can stick to the card, feathers are her fave. Try and keep his mind of where you are . All the best for Friday keep posting
The first contact I was asked not to bring anything but within 5 minutes the woman could see we were fine together. I've had the contact centre actually say if only all contact sessions went as good as ours, we are a shining example.
But the most recent one I took a couple of toys and next week I'll bring a couple of different ones for him.
I'm going to take legal advice tomorrow about how to respond to the defences. It turns out that they won't mean anything until may at the absolute earliest because only then at the options hearing will a sheriff decide whether to go to a proof.
But I could confidently say that by this time tomorrow I will have all outstanding evidence against these allegations. But every single thing in the defences is things I allegedly done to HER. There is no mention of my son.
The solicitor is being so petty that he has mentioned 7 times in the one paragraph that I was 'demeaning, controlling and abusive'.
Just a shame I have 10 separate statements from individuals that all state SHE was the controlling and abusive one!!
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