[Solved] Denial of access reasons?

Hi There,

I don't think she has the right to inspect the house, but I would say I understand her wanting to know where you live incase of emergancy, This isn't to say that she needs to know your every move, and I went to court to stop my ex demanding just that, But I can understand her wanting to know where your child will be, If it were the other way around you would want to know where she lived.

What reasons do you not want her to know where you live?

With regards to stopping contact as she feels your not sane enough she can't just give this as a reason without good cause, she would need to back her claims up.

Darren

Thanks for your reply Darren 🙂

She does want to know my every move with him, which I can understand but she also refuses to tell me where she takes him.

The reasons why I did not want her to know where I live is because she has threatened me, previously saying she will get someone to beat me up and then just recently she said she was going to be as hateful and spiteful to me as possible and f*** me up as much as she can. I thought it was quite reasonable to withold my address for a short time.

I'm dreading meeting up today as I feel she is being very devious but I will do anything to see my son again!

Doing anything to see your son is what most of us would do, but don't allow this to get out of hand, If you have been having issues discussing things with her as it sounds like she can be agressive then I'd try mediation to see if having a 3rd person present would allow you to be able to discuss this calmly and try to come to some better arrangements.

I would also keep all text she sends you, especailly the aggresive or threatening ones

Darren

Hi
sorry to hear you are going through this.

Can you have a friend with you or a relative when she comes round this will be for moral support and a witness. Try to stay calm.
I would say its only right she knows where you live, if things get bad you could apply for injunction, if you have any reason to fear your saftey if someone comes calling , phone the police. I would say its not right she comes into your home.

How old is your child, is she doing this because hes very young and she wants to make sure its child friendly or just being a bully. Have you got a contact order and PR

My son is going through a battle right now and she is so controlling , we are going to have to take her to court as she just wont listen to reason.

I have kept every text, email and documented any verbal conversations. I have already reported her threats and devious means in trying to find my address to the police and have an incident number but they were not that interested but it is logged.

My son is 7 months old, so it's a very crucial time for him to get to know his father too.

I'm not sure what you mean by a contact order and PR? All this new terminology is very confusing at the moment?

Contact order is what a judge would put in place if you were to go to family court over conatc with your child.

PR is perental responsibility, you would have this if you were married when your child was born, or if on the birth cert (i'm not 100% on birth cert if i'm honets someone else could confirm this)

I do have parental responsibility, we weren't married but I am on the birth certificate.

We haven't yet been to court for a contact order as I have tried to plead with her to sort this out amicably, she gets legal aid and I do not and I just can't afford the solicitors fees. Can I just draft something up and get us both to sign it, is that binding??

Update: I showed her the house and she was miffed because it is nice and clean and very suitable for a child. She then said she's denying me access until I am proven sane!!??!! She was accompanied by a friend and she suggested I can only have him with supervised access for 6 weeks. My ex then started ranting in the street and basically lying and making things (probably as there was a passer by and her friend). I remained calm (very hard to do as I have so much on her that I could easily throw back but didn't want to stoop to her level).

I think she's accepted supervised visitation, I don't think it's fair but it should save me going through the courts. I'll wait a day or to until she's calmed down and see what she expects now.

Thanks for everyone's advice here 🙂

Hi I'd say at 7 months your child is on the verge of not needing supervised visits and shouldn't be too far off overnight contact too, Your ex may try and call the shots as she feels that she can and the fact you can't afford solicitors fees when she can.

What I would say is that although she can get legal aid and your not able to this shouldn't stop you from having good contact, Like I said earlier suggest mediation so you can discuss things and if that doesnt work look at court, the fact that you can't afford solicitors shouldn't stop you as you can represent yourself so it would just cost £200 for the court fees.

Darren

Hi guys, some more advice and help is needed. Her next agreement was that she wanted me to go round to her house and show that my son is comfortable with me and I with him (she knows this is true but I agreed to it). I have just left there and she has said that she isn't satisfied even though he was smiling and very happy to see me. She said that she will not let me see him because she thinks i'm not sane and stable, which is not true, I am a loving father and want the best for him. According to the social worker she can deny access for any reason whatsoever.

Q1. She said she has changed my son's name by deed poll, I'm sure she can't do this?

Q2. She asked me to get some nappies and milk as she had run out and couldn't afford any more, so i obliged and said that this should come out of the maintenance I pay. She said the money is for her and I still need to pay for all his consumables as extra, I don't think this is the case?

Hi There,

The maintenance you pay is for her to care for your child, all expences should come from this, if you are able to afford more then there is nothing stopping you giving it, but you have no legal liability to do so.

she may be able to stop you seeing your child short term with these reasons but like I said before she would need to be able to back this up.

Have you suggested mediation to her?

Darren

I have suggested mediation rather than the courts but she said that because I am in full time employment, that will cost a lot too!

Mediation will cost, but it will be better option than court if you are able to make it work, I would look into it and see if you can arrange anything.

Darren