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My ex has not allowed contact with my son since boxing day with no explanations. We had court last week (for the fifth time) and she stood up in court and made allegations against me and my sister in law of seperate cases of child abuse and requested all contact with myself and my family stopped as she feared for our sons safety. This is absolutely ridiculous - more lies. I was accused by her last May and was investigated by social services and there was no evidence so my contact resumed.
Does anyone know if there is anything I can do to stop my ex making these ridiculous allegations against me and my family? It all comes down to jealousy with her.
I spoke to my sons school last week and they were becoming concerned as he has become very boisterous and violent at school. My ex had bnot let them know my contact had stopped or told them anything else or about the alleged allegations. They were going to ring social services with their concerns.
As a family my ex has ceased all maternal family contact with my son and now all his perternal family contact. We as a family are becoming increasingly concerned for my Son and my ex's erratic behavoiur and that of her partner.
At a loss as what to do or where to go for help - everyone just passes me from pillar to post 🙁
Hi Stormin-norman.
It sounds awful that she would do that but it's often about money and jealousy, but there is a considerable degree of what seems to be harrassment here. It is high time you went to a solicitor. A child needs both parents but if she is stopping contact between you and your child based upon lies and if she's ceased all contact between your son and her own side of the family then I should be very concerned for his welfare. How do you know this? A solicitor seems to be the way ahead. It's legal and maybe the threat of legal action may stop her behaving like this.
Thank you for your reply. Unfortunately I cant afford a solicitor and am not entitled to legal aid either which is why I have been doing it all myself.
My ex's mother phoned me a few weeks back as she hasnt had contact and she was concerned.
Hi there,
It might be a good idea to make contact with the Social Services team yourself. As the school has voiced concerns strong enough to prompt them to want to contact an outside agency, and also your ex's mother is also voicing her concerns. It seems she is alienating your son from all of his family support structure and that isnt good for him, his behaviour at school is an indication that he isnt happy, and he will be missing you and his grandparents. This is psychological/emotional abuse and this is the language you should use if you decide to contact Childrens Services, if you state that you consider your son to be at risk they should investigate. Ask them to log your contact with them and record your concerns on file.
As you are going through the court process, theres not a lot more that you can do. You cant stop her making these false allegations but you can defend yourself, the fact that she has made this type of allegation before and it was found to be groundless can be used to show that she is prepared to lie to stop you from having contact.
It may help if you gather statements from all the family members that are concerned, and also from the school if possible.
The court process can be slow and grinding and can leave you feeling that you're not getting anywhere.... just keep at it and try not to lose heart. You've come to the right place for advice and support. Good luck 🙂
Thank you - its all just such a mess. I just want to see my son and she is doing everything in her power to stop this.
I am considering applying to the courts for soul custody of my son - do you think I may have a case?
Thank you for your help
What did the court decide about contact last week, did they suspend contact because of your ex's allegations? If nothing was decided and you dont have defined contact, you can apply to the court for this.
How old is your son? Being granted custody isnt easy, and usually there has to be some pretty serious abuse with the child being at serious risk. If I were you I would start a diary and make a record of everything that involves your son and the situation with your ex. and her partner. If you do decide to apply to court for defined contact or even custody it will be helpful.
My contact has been suspended subject to social services investigating the child abuse allegations. My ex hadnt informed anybody of these allegations police, social services, school etc - it is being fast tracked - whatever that means..!!
My Son is 5.
I have been keeping a diary and recording everything. My ex was very upset when my son mentioned to his Auntie that Mummy and her boyfriend had been driving about in a new 2 seater car and my son was put in the footwell - my sister in law mentioned it to me as she was concerned and I spoke to my ex about it. My ex became very cross and said it had only happened once or twice. We think this is the reason she has accused my sister in law of child abuse.
Do you know if there is anywhere i can get free legal advice about this please?
...Coram Childrens Legal Centre (CCLC) have a freephone line and webchat. They come on here and give advice when the moderators request them to, but there is a link to their website at the bottom of the page if you dont feel you can wait. They are very good and as long as you dont have a solicitor, they can advise you on where you stand legally and the best course of action to take. I think it always helps to make a list of questions before making contact! Good luck 🙂
...If your case has been fast tracked then you should hear from the Social Services pretty quickly, you will be able to talk to them about all of your concerns then, and those of other family members and the school. You could ask your ex's mother to write a statement of her concerns to give to them, it might help. Once you mention that the school has concerns, they should ask for a report from them too.
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