Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
Hi,
I am wondering if somebody would be able to offer advice and or point me in the right direction?
I have a 4 month old son who the mother has been difficult from day one and I can't understand as to why?
When we found out she was pregnant I told her that I would be there and wanted to be a part of the babies life, which she thanked me for! When she was due for her first scan she told me that she did not want me to go to it and would prefer her ex to go! This basically set the trend for the future scans although she did allow me to go eventually. (lets say its physically impossible for her ex to be the father before you ask)
I was then cut out of anything further by her and partly down to her mother aswell (men issues) until I recieved a text message saying 'your son was born 1 hour ago'............... Great feeling. Needless to say I then followed the correct route putting money in to her account, buying milk, clothes so on and so forth.........
A few weeks into my son being born me and the ex decided to give it another go stupidly as we was getting on rather well. I gave up going on my mates stag do to spend time as a family as this felt right and we spent the weekend spending £££ on clothes for my son. Obviously after this I then cancelled transfering money in to her account as I was spending enough as it was. This is where everything went down hill as "I should still put money in her account".
I am now paying through CSA which obviously I do not mind however she has stopped me from seeing my son completely. For what reason I am unaware of. While I was buying clothes and depositing cash in to her account she was happy for me to take him away on my own but now I am not capable.
I have spoken to 1 solicitors who dragged me along to do nothing. I am now due to go see another one on the 29th of this month.
I am also on the birth certificate.
If you could point me in the right direction I would appreciate it as this isn't fair on my son, his grandparents and myself.
Kind of feeling like the whole system is geared up against the father.
Thank you in advance,
Mark.
Hi Mark and welcome!
Have a look at Mediation ... www.nfm.org.uk
This is where both parents will attend with a trained Mediator, and try to reach an agreement that is best for all. There is a charge for this service but if you are unemployed or on a low income you wouldnt pay. The family court would nearly always expect mediation to have been tried first before applying to the courts for their intervention.
If mediation fails then you can apply to the court for a Contact Order, have a read of the stickys at the top of the Legal Eagle section. There is the Guide to Representing yourself in Court and the Contact Order C100 Guide, you'll find some excellent advice on how to go about it.
As you are on the birth certificate you have parental responsibility. Try talking to her again, let her know that you take your responsibilities as a father seriously and that all you want is to be a part of his life, and you will do everything in your power to make that happen...tell her the options open to you and that you are prepared to take it to court if necassary, but also that it would be much better for all concerned, especially your son, if you could reach agreement without that. Once court is involved the Childrens Service will also become involved, If she's reasonable, she wont want that. Try not to make it sound like a threat and always keep things civil even if she doesn't! It would be a good idea for you to keep a record of all conversations with dates and times, all texts and emails, in fact everything concerning your son and your efforts to see him. If you do have to take it to court this will prove helpful.
Good luck with everything.
i would consider yourself at war my friend. good luck and dont underestimate what your up against. you will need to be the sharpest and most careful and shrewd if you have any chance. please dont take this situation lightly......good luck. a court order for contact asp is essential........do it yesterday
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
