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My ex partner has mental health problems which I know little of apart from being the brunt of it over the years! We split before our daughter was born as she as so abusive, it's as if she has split personalities. When our daughter was a few weeks old she told me she'd shaken her and I contacted the police and social services, she denied it and nothing further happened. I have raised concerns over the years about things she's said, the state our daughter has sometimes been in and things our daughter has said. All times they speak to her and it goes no further. I have tried supporting her over the years but she's very unpredictable and irrational and we've been not further than civil for over a year now.
She's always been irrational, I really do think she has split personalities or something similar, when I speak to her I never know how she's going to respond - either very friendly or pick arguments with me and completely lose it over nothing.
I've had enough of it, our daughter is suffering, my ex partner is failing her and as she approaches school age I worry even more about her ability to keep on top of the things she'll need.
Now my daughter is speaking more openly about what she experiences at 'home', I'm going to contact social services again. The last three weeks my ex partner has become more and more erratic, we text daily about our daughter and there's been five days in three weeks where she hasn't gone bonkers at me over nothing. She keeps asking me things so completely unreasonable then why I say no and explain why, she goes bonkers. Take yesterday for example, after a solid week of text abuse I was relieved to find her on quite civil terms, we sorted a lot out and it was how I think a relationship between separated parents should be. Hours later she's texting, starting the same arguments she did during the previous week and going bonkers again. She seems obsessed with me 'knocking her' and will throw 'well just stop swearword knocking me alright!!!' when I'm doing no such thing, it makes no sense and a lot of her replies have little to do with what we're talking about. I have never criticized anything she's done, yes I have disagreed with her on things but never criticized her. She's very, very paranoid.
I've spent years trying to support her and help her but nothing has helped and if anything, she's getting worse. I fell out of love with her years ago but I still care for her as the mother of our beautiful daughter but I can't leave my daughter with her, but I have no proof apart from what my daughter may say to a social worker and the erratic nature of her texts.
Hi Tommo.....
Have you kept copies that you can print or transcribe of the texts she has sent you so that you could present as evidence?
If you have spoke to social services there will be records of this that I expect could be shown in court.
Depending on the age of your daughter social services could speak with her. Gently obviously.
Are you considering going through the courts for residency?
There are some great people on here who can and Im sure will advise you further so sit tight.
Regards,
Dave
Hi Tommo 🙂
It sounds to me that she is bi polar, what we used to call manic depressive. Do you know if she has ever sought treatment for this?
I think you are right to consider contacting SS and discussing your concerns for your daughters safety....if you tell them that your child is at risk they have a duty to investigate. If at any time during your contact with your daughter you feel it is unsafe to return her to her mother, you could call the police and explain that you have Parental Responsibility, I'm assuming that you do, explain that your daughter is at risk of harm and you are not happy to return her to her mother....ask them for their advice on how to proceed.
As Dave says, now is the time to start gathering evidence to back up your claims.
If you get no help from the authorities then the only other option open to you is to apply for a Residence Order. If you have a look at the stickys at the to of the Legal Eagle section you will find a couple about representing yourself in court and one about the C100 form, which is the form you would submit to the court to apply for a Residence Order. There is a charge of £200 for this but if you are unemployed or on a low income you can get an exemption.
Hi Tommo
If at any time you felt it was unsafe to return your daughter to her mother, and you decided that enough was enough, you could apply for an Emergency Residence Order. NJ is right, that will cost £200 unless you are exempt from paying the Court fees.
Yes I forgot to mention that! If you have spoken to the authorities and they arnt going to get involved if you keep hold of your daughter, then apply for an Emergency RO asap. The case will be heard within 24/48 hours then.
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