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Background:
My wife has been an addict from the age of 21 and i met her when she was 34. She was stable on methodone at the time.
We married ( yeh i hear you ) had a child now 5.
she has been on a distructive cycle of maintenance and relapse every year for those 5 years.
i work full time in a great job and she is now at home due to always loosing her job when in relapse.
what im asking is if i decide enough is enough then can i get sole custody? i will not leave if there is a chance i will loose my son and rather stay in a place i can protect him.
regards
Hi
The problem is that there are no guarantees of an outcome. If you left taking your son with you, settled him into a new environment quickly and went for a residence order, and had plenty of proof that your ex was drug dependant etc, then a judge, in my opinion, is much less likely to take him out of an environment where he is settled an put him into one that could well be harmful. However, as I said above, there are no guarantees.
I agree with ACTD, whilst there are no guarantees, I would say that your partner's history of drug dependency should result in a favourable decision. However, that said, there are so many other things that need to be considered to ensure that if - and when - you decide to leave you don't end up getting yourself arrested.
Are you in receipt of child benefit and child tax credits? If so, how is this paid? To you, your partner or into a joint account?
The reason I ask is that should you leave and take your son with you, your ex may very well contact the police and allege that you have abducted him. What you have to remember is that your son's school and GP will have the family home as his registered address and if benefits are paid to the mother then she could argue that she's the resident parent (who can determine the level of contact you have with your son) and that you have taken him without her consent and would have evidence to support this. In which case there's a strong chance that the police would return him, charge you and tell you to get a solicitor to sort out the issue of residence.
If you are going to leave then my advice is to plan everything in advance. Take as much advice as you can regarding residency and resident parent status. It may be an idea to have a chat with the Coram Children's Legal Service (CCLC), they offer free legal advice on all matters relating to child law and will probably be able to suggest a strategy to move things forward. There's a link to their website at the foot of this page!
It must be a very distressing situation to be in, but I understand the need to put your child first.
Good luck,
FM '70
When I say leave I mean get her out. Here parents know what's she is like as do all her family. I live in a married quarter as I'm military.
She is so distructive financially and her only priority is drugs.
A judge would surely favour me over a drug addict.
I could understand it if I was using drugs but I have a good job an backing of the family.
Are you based in England or Wales?
I would suggest that you also speak to Children's Services (new name for Social Services), but speak with the CCLC about what you need to do before doing anything.
Also, if you're on good terms with your superiors, talk to them about the best (legal) way of removing her from the property. Is the military supportive of single parents?
- Samaritans – call 116 123
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