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Good afternoon,
My story is similar to many members of this site - that being I separated from my sons mother. I have had my fair share of nasty from her - when I met someone new it didn't see my son for 10 weeks. I took the legal route she got scared (she is one of those people who say things without contemplating the impact that it may have - current issue is an excellent example)
So a few days ago she informed me that her boyfriend (of 6 weeks, whom she broke up with around 2 weeks ago - i know, "[censored]?" right?) has been head-hunted for a job in Australia. she followed this with "If he gets it, I am going" Logically there is no way for her to get there due to her current circumstances (no job, in debt, no savings, no skill set etc) in addition to this i have family that have moved there and it took them two years to get approval - something I doubt she has the drive for.
Once I got over the initial shock - it did worry me for a while obviously - i did begin to think, if she could go - what right does she have to take my son with her? I am on his birth certificate which from what i know gives me parental responsibility and I would assume that the these responsibilities would encompass emigration. I am opposed to he being dragged along to another country like some sort of handbag because she wants to.
So here is my question: Can she move out of the country and take my son without my consent? If so, how can I stop her from going if she attempts to?
Many thanks for any info
Vaz
Hi Vaz,
I have moved this post to the Legal Eagle Section because this is the best place for it.
I will ask the Coram Children's Legal Centre to pop by and offer you some advice.
Cheers
Gooner
If you seriously believe that she will go without your permission you need to apply to the courts for a Prohibited Steps Order.
But from your story it sounds as if its another wild idea she has that will go nowhere.
Keep an eye on the situation and if it changes, act.
Simon
Hi Vaz,
You mentioned that you have previously taken the legal route. How far did this go? Do you have a contact order in place? How old is your son?
FM '70
Hi,
It didn't go that far as I think the realization of how far I would go to stop her made her sit up a bit.
But I did contact a solicitor for legal advice, and a mediation company - she refused knowing that it was voluntary
How old is your little boy?
I doubt there's much in this Vaz. She's probably just trying to get under your skin and unsettle you, but monitor the situation anyway. She would legally require your permission to take your son to another country and she clearly knows this will not happen without a fight...
... if anything develops - and I doubt it will - don't hesitate to come back and ask for some advice 🙂
FM '70
I will.
there has actually been a un-expected development.
She has agreed to let him come and live with me while she is out there - although i am waiting for the snatch back move.
tis very strange when someone does something that is totally out of character!
Hi Vaz,
Is your son now living with you full time? Or is this just the scenario should her new partner get the job?
Is she intending to go permenantly or just for a month or so?
If your son is living with you then ensure that his school, GP and dentist all have his new address.
FM '70
Well its all up in the air a bit at the moment.
She wants to go to go away for 3 years on a working visa - then possibly apply to for citizenship.
She doesn't want to uproot him.
As of right now no I don't, but she has said that even if she does not go that she will probably still let him come to me saying, and I quote, "he has a better chance with you"
Her partner got the job, his working visa is being sorted out as I speak, she is then applying for one as well (she has a job lined up over there I think)
She is flaky so if that happens I will be surprised. but i hope it does - my mind is slightly flayed thinking about all the thing I will need to sort out for him - getting to school, getting home from school, up dating everything as you mentioned below.
I would suggest that you start to document these conversations. If you discuss the matter via text or email, please keep a copy of every single exchange. It may be an idea to ask the odd subtle question by text or emal actually, so that you can save her responses.
Your ex sounds like quite a mixed up person. Is this type of scenario reflective of her character? Seriously considering emigrating to another country with a man she's only known for a matter of weeks? Is she the type of person who would leave her child behind? You know her as well as anyone, so what do your instincts tell you?
I think you're right to be suspicious of her attitude. There's not many women who would leave a child behind, so she may be playing mind games (some people are like that and I know not why). However, she could be trying to lull you into a false sense of security and should you get any inclination whatsoever that she's looking to flee the country with your child don't hesitate to get a PSO in place.
How old is your son?
Dear Vaz Cotta
From the information you have provided we can see that you do have parental responsibility for your son as you are named on the birth certificate. Subsequently you do have legal rights over your son along with the mother in relation to this matter.
In reply to your question “Can she move out of the country and take my son without my consent? If so, how can I stop her from going if she attempts to?” The answer is no, the mother cannot legally take your son to another jurisdiction permanently without your consent, without your consent this would amount to abduction.
We understand you have already attempted mediation with your ex partner but you say this has been unsuccessful, we would advise that you initiate mediation with her once more before starting court proceedings which may be necessary as a final resort to resolve the problems present. To clarify mediation is where a neutral third party would assist you whilst you try and negotiate an amicable agreement with the mother. To arrange Mediation please go on the National Family Mediation website http://www.nfm.org.uk/home or contact them on 03004000636.
We understand from the information provided that there has been an unexpected development as she has now agreed for your son to come and live with you. If this was the case and he lived with you permanently this would make you the resident parent. To be legally recognised as the resident parent you can also apply to the court for a residence order. An application can be made for a residence order by filling out a C100 form and sending it to the court. This form can be obtained through a local county court or through the www.justice.gov.uk website, a £200 fee will also need to be paid and attached to these forms and sent to the court. Once you have completed the forms please hand them to the family proceedings court closest to where your child resides, you will then be contacted with a hearing date.
In regards to the £200 fee you can fill out an EX160A form to check your eligibility to a fee reduction or a complete exemption from paying.
We understand you are concerned that the mother may actually change her mind and decide to take your son without your consent; as mentioned above this would amount to abduction. To prevent her from taking him you would need to fill out a Prohibited Steps Order. An application for a Prohibited Steps Order can be found in the C100 form mentioned above. Once you have filled out the C100 form please hand it to the family proceedings court closest to where your child resides.
If you have any other questions please call us on 08088 020 008 or contact us via our web chat facility http://www.childrenslegalcentre.com/index.php?page=web_chat.
Yours Sincerely
Coram Childrens Legal Centre
Hi,
Just a quick update.
She has now turned around saying that if she doesn't go I wont get him - thought this would happen.
Hate the fact she can do this bull
Can someone tell why abuse doesn't cover using a child like this?
Vaz
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