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Hi,
Just found this page after a search of desperation, im at my wits end and dont know what to do...
Im a full time student in the middle of a masters degree, on low income but getting by...
I met a girl whom i saw about once a week for a period of 6 weeks, i didnt feel the relationship had a long term future so i ended it.
a few days later (this week) she contacted me to say she was pregnant and wanted to keep the child...
I explained (and did during our short time together) that once i finished my studies i would be moving back to australia which is where i was born, where my family is and where ive always planned on moving back to. Regardless of this, I did say to her that not only do i have a legal obligation to support the child, i also have a moral desire to do so in any way i can. I also explained that although a long distance father is not ideal, it does work and can work so long as the parents work together to achieve a common goal, the one the is best for the child. I still believe that a child is better off emotionally, knowing that although the father is living abroad, the father still cares and still wants to be involved. This is much better than a kid growing up always wondering 'why arent i important enough that dad keeps in touch?'
anyways, my ex has made it clear that she intends not to put my name on the childs bith certificate and she plans to move elsewhere in the country and i will never be able to find them, ive explained that i want to and need to be part of the childs life but she wont budge. She says things like 'good luck trying to find us' etc etc.. she has threatened me with violence (a visit from her two soldier brothers) .etc etc.
I need to know where i stand. I dont want to be a father who does a runner and has no contact, but that is exactly how she's going to illustrate it to our child if she dissappears without trace. the emotional hurt this will do to our child is unthinkable and its making me sick with worry. Its not the childs fault we arent together, its not the childs fault we dont get along, i accept if she wants to punish me for ending the relationship but i think its wrong that the child is punished also.
Please can anybody help with any advice. It would be a godsend right now. i dont know what to do.
please help a very willing, and very terrified father.
Hi Nic, sorry but if I was you I would want proof she was pregnant, she may be just saying it . I know that may sound harsh, but I think its a bit quick her already knowing after 6 weeks, its not impossible as you can buy kits, but take one step at a time. She could just be naffed off with you as you have finished the relationship
If she is then you can do as bass said, but I would think you would have to wait till the baby is born,but not sure about that one
very true ak, maybe even a dna test wouldn't be such a bad idea as it was such a brief relationship.
would def expect a Dna
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