[Solved] ex has prevented contact.

Hi Flybe,

I'm sorry to hear that your situation hasn't improved that much since your last post 🙁

Your ex is in breach of a court order, so you need to apply for an enforcement order.

Keep all the text messages from the mother and use them to evidence the mothers unreasonable behaviour.

I think you're right to avoid going to the house and would recommend that you stay away until the matter is resolved.

FM '70

Hi Filmmaker
thank you for you comments. I have provided to the court a complete listing of the texts with times sent and who sent.

Will update when Iv been to court.

Flybe1971

I thought I would post an update after self representing in my case.
My partner and her solicitor attended the court. I must say the Judge was nice. He asked a number of questions why contact had been prevented by my ex partner. It is because apparently I had introduced my daughter to my partner that I am engaged to.
The judge asked why did she not bring the case back to court. It was because of the cost. She had contacted social services and they told her to stop contact. The judge did have a few words about it but nothing more.
My partner does not want to meet my ex because of her temperament, the harassment in texts to me and feels it will not ease my ex’s expectations. The Judge has said he would hope that when the case returns to court, my partner is agreed to meet. I am worried about this as I feel its not fair. Any advice on this would be helpful.
Regards
Flybe1971

I will ask the CCLC whether they are able to comment - I must admit I can understand your point of view, my ex has never met my wife and I've known/been married for 11 years now and the reason is purely that I wouldn't want to inflict my ex's venom on my wife.

Hi Flybe1971

The Judge cannot make any order to force your new partner to meet your ex wife. If your new partner does not want to meet your ex wife she is under no legal obligation to do so, however if the Judge has stressed they think this would be a good way forward they may be disappointed that it has not happened and it may influence their decision making at the next hearing.

If you require any further advice please do not hesitate to contact us. Our advice line phone service on 0808 802008 is available Mon-Fri between 8:00-20:00, and our online web chat service at www.childrenslegalcentre.com is available Mon-Fri between 09:00-18:00.

Yours Sincerely

CORAM Children’s Legal Centre

Hi there,

As the legal guys have said above, I didn't think the judge could enforce they meet (good to have clarification though.

I found when I went to court the judge seemed to look for an easy way to resolve an issue, though not the same as yours, as this was over CSA payments, my ex was stating that I only wanted to increase my overnight contact so I could pay less through CSA, The judge responded by asking me if I would agree to not contact CSA asking them to re calculate the payments to appose my ex's claims.

I challenged the judge and made the point that finances and contact shouldn't be discussed in the same court room and the judge backed down.

My point is that it did feel that as I was there alone without legal representation the judge was trying to push something they wouldn't have done had I had a solicitor to back me up. If your new partner really doesn't want to meet your ex then I wouldn't be forced into feeling you have to make this happen. Your ex can't dictate who you see when you have your children without very good reasons, and if she had them the judge wouldn't even be entertaining your new partner being in contact with your children.

Darren

Excellent advice above by Darren.

One way to tackle it might be to tell the court that you have discussed it at length with your wife, but she really doesn't want to meet because....... and then list all the valid reasons (in fact, your wife could write a letter to the court). If the judge thinks that you have given it serious consideration, that may reduce the disappointment felt by the court.

I'm quite confused by the attitude of the judge. You have the right to introduce your child to whoever you like. I can't imagine that Social Services would advise a course of action that would encourage someone to break a court order. Unless, of course, they weren't made aware of the existence of the contact order.

A Contact Order has been granted and the mother is breaking the terms of that order; she's is effectively in contempt of court. This should surely be about enforcing an order, rather than placating the mother? This seems very unfair.

However, for whatever reason, it would seem that there's an expectancy by the court for a level of cooperation, so maybe it would benefit the situation if your partner were to attend the next hearing? As there is no legal obligation for your partner to meet the mother, I would say that this, given the unpredictable nature of the mother, is the only environment for the two to meet and that afterwards there should be no further need for any further communication between the two.