Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: Important Information – open to read:
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
My ex (we are in the middle of a divorce), has just announced that she and her new partner are taking my 2 youngest children (aged 7 & 10) away to another town, about 100 miles away.
She is pregnant with his child and says this will be a fresh start for them all, even though they're not moving for employment as both are unemployed, and would actually be, and I quote "crashing at a mates till we get sorted" Naturally I have concerns.
I told the kids today I didnt want them to move, as I cant drive so it would mean I wouldnt see them as often and would miss them like crazy. (A watered down version of my real feelings).
I have since had a text message off her partner telling me "They are moving and thats that, and I should think about having ,y kids because I want to, not because I have to!"
The unabashed arrogance of this has floored me. I idolise my kids and they know it...so much so, my 15 year old eldest has lived ith me for the past 2 years as he doesnt get on with his Mother or her partner.
My question is, do I have a legal right in preventing them from moving? My 10 year old has already said to me he does not want to go..
Hi and welcome
A court will not issue a prohibted steps order preventing someone from moving unless the sole motive is to prevent contact, otherwise she is free to move anywhere in England. I would consider mediation to see if you can come to some arrangement regarding contact - longer holidays with you etc.
Hi,
What level of contact do you currently have with your youngest children? Does your ex have a residency order, or was the current contact arrangement agreed between yourselves?
I note that your 15 year old has been with you since he was 13 and effectively voted with his feet.
Ordinarily I would say that you would have very little chance of gaining residency of your youngest children. However, I think it's worth exploring because a) your eldest has already voted with his feet and b) your 10 year old's explicit desire to remain in the locality. Courts are loathe to seperate children, but this MAY actually work in your favour here. One child has already removed himself from their care into yours, your 10 year old has stated that he doesn't want to leave and is coming to an age where his feelings will be considered and if he wants to stay with you it makes your argument so much stronger. If you can argue that your 7 year old shouldn't be be seperated from his older siblings, I would say that you've got a fairly strong case for residency.
Courts usually want consistency for children and the fact that the mother and her partner don't have any adequate accomodation arranged may also strengthen your case.
I would imagine that you may increase your chances of obtaining an interim Prohibitive Steps Order (to prevent them from leaving) should you apply for residency.
I would speak to the Coram Children's Legal Centre (CCLC) for some free legal advice. There's a link to their website at the foot of the page, but I would suggest that you do this ASAP.
FM '70
FM, I completely missed the last bit about CM's 15 year old - that does change the situation.
Welcome to the DAD.info forum.
We don’t like to set ‘rules’, but to make sure that you and the other dads are kept safe, we have some requests. When engaging with the forum, please be aware of the following:
- The forum is not moderated 24 hours per day.
- Many of the moderators do so on a voluntary basis. Whilst they may be able to provide some guidance, advice or support, they may not be able to deal with specifics.
- We are not an emergency crisis service so if you or someone else is in immediate danger, please call emergency services.
- If you are concerned about the safety of a child, please click here to find the support you can get for them (link to new page)
- If you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123. They are open 24 hours a day, 7 days per week.
We hope you find this forum a supportive environment and thank you for joining us.