Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
I have a CAO from the last 2 years stating what nights I have my children but my ex has recently said she has decided to change the nights. This will result in me having less nights with my children and the new days she has decided I can have them are not convenient for me
What are my options ? If I go to collect them on a CAO arranged night am I able to call the police to enforce this ? Or do I have to just accept it and go back to court. If back to court will the judge order her to abide by it ?
Do not get the police involved - this is a civil matter and not a criminal one, they can't help you.
How old are the kids? Why's she changing the nights ? - can you negotiate with her as in changing the nights or extending holiday time to make them up ? - avoiding court if possible is always best.
@harveybdac they are 4 and 8
she hasn’t said - she is a very bitter ex and constantly wants to cause problems regardless of how it affects the children.
I was pushed into court originally as she continually played games with access such as not being there when I went to pick up or drop them off . Or being there but saying she had changed her mind and now arranged something for them instead.
She is impossible to compromise with
You went to court for a reason. She cannot simply change her mind without agreement, mediation and legal approval.
You can ask to negotiate if there is mutual benefit or she simply adheres to the CAO.
If she continues as previous response enforce the order.
It continues the M thinks they can do as they please without impact to them.....and the F has to continually resolve at cost to them.
Advise her this is the route and she is likely to back down unless you can both agree on change that you should have legally sealed at shared cost.
P
@george1937 Just take care when you read that applying to Enforce the existing order is what you should do. We don't know enough about your case or situation to know that is what you should do. Without seeing the Order no-one should be telling you to apply to enforce - depending what exactly is written and where exactly it is written , you might be making a huge mistake and end up applying to enforce something that is not enforceable.
Did you Self Represent when getting this Order thats 2 yrs old ?
@harveybdac - No I was represented by a barrister but would represent myself next time as the fees are ridiculous
I cant understand how we can follow the correct process and pay money for the court to draw up a CAO and then she can just choose to ignore it when it suits her
If she doesn’t make the children available on the days stated on the CAO, she will be in breach if it. If this happens twice, I would apply for an enforcement order.
@mrstrange how long does this normally take to get to court ? In my experience the court process is really long and drawn out
If you ex fails to make the children available for contact as per the CAO, you should apply for an enforfement order. It could take up to 3 months to get a hearing date. Your ex will risk getting a fine or community service. Alternatively the judge will give her a strong telling off. That ago od be enough to make her adhere to the existing order.
It wont cost you much if you self rep - you will probably get the Job done quicker and better too.
Before you commit to enforcing the order - make sure whatever Shes Breaching is an actual order. If its something listed as a Recital , at the start of the order , then it is not enforceable. Remember this, Recitals are not enforceable. Also be aware if Mum receives more court paperwork , she may seek legal advice and its common for a typical Solicitor to advise their client that stop contact with the other parent and the children as its too stressful blah blah blah. So you may go a few/many Months without any contact.
Applications to Vary an existing order are more likely to succeed than an application to Enforce - Mediation attempt would be a mandatory requirement in this instance , just so you know.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
