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I'm currently battling with options in my head with regard to the situation I'm now in where the ex wants to move to Belgium (where she's from originally) with our 9 yr old. As far as I see it, I currently have 2 options:
1) Bite the bullet, try to remain on good terms with her, and go aswell. Make some sort of half-life there, and taper it down over time to a 50/50 me living there/here.
2) Pursue a legal route, that I may not win anyway, will cost me a packet and strain relations yet further with the ex and possibly jeopardise future access.
I appreciate that a court may give more credence to a 9 yr old's wishes, but putting a decision like that on young shoulders to choose between her parents, is one that doesn't sit easy with me. It's an ultimate dilema, that I think the answer lies within me, but sure would appreciate some advice or some knowledge from someone that's been in the same situation.
Hi solarstone,
Sorry to hear of your current situation.
Your options are pretty correct in that they are likely to be.
From a legal perspective, there are a few options which you have available.
1) Apply for a Prohibitive Steps Order, to prevent your ex from moving. This has a mild chance of success.
2) Apply for Residency of your child, citing the interests and benefits of staying here.
As your child is only 9years of age, there is little chance that their wishes will be considered... however if you, ultimately, have the opportunity to go to live in Belgium as well... it may be an option to you going there to do so.
I take it you haven't entirely scratched the idea out? Could you work there?
Yoji, thanks for the reassuring words.
Working there is an option yes, I can effectively work anywhere with internet access.
Do I need to give my permission legally for her to go to Belgium?? If that is the case, I'm thinking that we could get an agreement drawn up with a solicitor that says, I give you permission if I have 50/50 access and am allowed to take her out of the country for up to 30 days at a time. It's a bitter pill to swallow, but far less than if I let my pride come into it and wind up with limited access/bad feeling.
Is English Law = to European Law ?
Hi Solarstone,
Yoji's advice is excellent in my opinion here. English law is different to other countries, though there are reciprocal arrangements for enforcement in some areas, but I don't think you want to be getting into this.
If you had a contact order, it would say that the child can't be taken out of the country for more than 30 consecutive days without the permission of the court, but the problem is that without this order, you are limited as to what you can do, and if you go for a contact order, your ex is certainly going to ask for permission from the court to be able to go abroad permanently, and since she is from Belgium, she is probably going to have good grounds for justifying the move. The same goes for a prohibited steps order, if she can justify her move, then you are less likely to succeed.
I would agree with Yoji, that if you can move to Belgium yourself, then you have better grounds to negotiate with your ex on contact by consenting (or not objecting) to her moving, and probably having an easier time with contact in the future.
more good advice, and much appreciated, thanks.
She has it in her head that if I don't consent in a letter, then she will go for a court order. Which kind of defies my semblance of logic. I think she doesn't trust me and wants a guarantee. Hence why I'm thinking that if I ultimately end up there, that I go for a legally drawn-up letter that gives consent, but also agrees, on her part, to access.
it does sound like you are in a position to come to a mutual agreement - a letter drawn up won't be necessarily enforceable in court, but will certainly hold weight if there is any dispute, As well as seeking advice from a solicitor here, I'd consider having a consultation with a solicitor in Belgium as you need to make sure that any agreement has some effect there also.
Hi solarstone,
Just to add regarding that if you are looking to get an existing Court Order here that essentially (is a Contact Order) guarantees you time. I would strongly recommend doing this over here.
Its actually from my understanding more a case of English Law being in compliance with EU Law. Again from my understanding of this if an Order is granted between two parties in Country X and both parties move to Country Y, then the Order made in Country X is the applicable one.
In essence, a UK based verdict (reached by both parties under directorship) is applicable. The only difficulty could be one of enforcement.
Things have moved on, and I'm seeing the only choice as flitting between the 2 countries on a fortnightly basis.
If I need to get an agreement that holds up in Belgian law, do I need to go through a UK solicitor, or gain any agreement here first, or should I just go direct to a Belgian one, and get an agreement drawn up via them? The slight complication is that since we were never married, we have a PRA which is an English law doc.
My understanding from my solicitor for my circumstances was if you are divorced in a UK court that the children could not be moved to another country outside the UK without the other parents permission?
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