Welcome to the DAD.Info forum: We are not open to new posts at this time
Our forum aims to provide support and guidance where it can, however we may not always have the answer. The forum is not moderated 24 hours a day, so If you – or someone you know – are being harmed or in immediate danger of being harmed, call the police on 999.
Alternatively, if you are in crisis, please call Samaritans on 116 123.
If you are worried about you or someone you know is at risk of harm, please click here: How we can help
me and my ex partner have never got on well, we weren't together before or through the pregnancy. (one night stand)
i told at the start that i didnt want family life, (me, her, kids) i was happy to have a child but asked for a DNA test as i didnt know her.
Throughout the pregnancy its was horrible due to constant argueing on both sides.
anyway 9 months on child is born, we were getting on fine, now im going to be honest i didnt buy my child anyhing because i wasnt 100% she was mine, now after spending 6 weeks a few times a week, stopping ober at the mothers house, and helping look after. she had feeling for me, i rejected her cause its still not what i wanted, she went mad, and has now registered her with me the father as unknown. contacted the CSA and is saying i can now only see her 0nce a fortnight for 6 hours on a sunday. ive made an appointment to see a solicitor but i dont have any rights as a father, and im more than happy to pay CSA, but i dont want to pay when im not even recognized as her father. and on top of this shes said she may move 200 miles away.
Hi and welcome.
Firstly, I'll move this to the legal section as it's more appropriate there.
You mention that you asked for a DNA test - was this done?
If you are the father, then you are legally obliged to pay maintenance - this is a separate issue to contact - and the arrears start to accrue from the day she contacts the CSA. If the CSA test wasn't done, then you can ask the CSA for a test, denying that you are the father. You will have to pay for the test, but if it shows you are not the father, then you may get the money back from the test. Additionally, maintenance will still be owing until the point where you deny being the father, so if you think this may be the case, do it as soon as possible. If you think you are the father, then you need to start paying as soon as possible, as you do not want to get into arrears with the CSA - the basic calculation is 15% of takehome pay for one child, so start putting that money aside straight away.
With regards to PR and your name on the birth certificate, and contact, I would suggest that your first step should be to consider mediation before going down the legal route - it will be much cheaper and less acrimonious if you can sort it out this way.
- Samaritans – call 116 123
- Shout – text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258
