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[Solved] Ex partner has stopped contact for work reasons

Claret Jack
(@Claret Jack)
Active Member Registered


This is my first post on a fantastic website and I really hope someone can shed some light on this for me.

I will try to keep this short, when I split from my ex she would not let me see my 18 month old daughter and she moved trying to run from me with my daughter. If your wondering why in her words bellowed on my doorstep "If you do not want me anymore say goodbye to your daughter". I tracked her down via a PI and started legal proceedings. We went through two mediation sessions, a contact center, third party supervised contact, four court hearings and £14,000 later my relationship with my daughter was where I wanted it to be. Unsupervised contact 24 hours one week and 48 hours the following week all occurring at weekends. I enjoyed this spell for near enough another year and a half.

It has now been two years since the final order was confirmed, we have no times included in this order. I have advised I can no longer pick my daughter up and have her Friday nights, I now work in a new job where I normally leave too late to pick her up. She claims she "works" at weekends at a gym and my daughter is only now available for collection between 5:30am until 6:00am Saturday morning, I am 90% she is not working there and she is doing this just to spite me.

I stood my ground and refused surely she has the responsibility to make our daughter available at reasonable times, I advised I am free for contact at anytime from 9am-6pm for collection Saturday or Sunday. She refuses to make her available any other time the.

She has now blocked my number and did not attend mediation, I have an appointment with my lawyers next week with court a high probability. Can anyone advise me how you think this would play out in court? She has taken the position of not refusing contact but trying to force me into an unreasonable time which is not in my daughter's best interest and I do not want her to force me into accepting an unreasonable time.

I love my daughter she has been worth every penny I have spent and every minute of anguish over the last 5 years. Your responses would be highly appreciated in this difficult time, thank you.

Topic starter Posted : 29/08/2014 7:37 pm
Famed Member Registered

Hi There and welcome.

This isn't an easy one to call, I would say that there is a very strong chance that if you ended up in court that you wouldn't gain anything other than what the mother has suggested.

I would say in my view, that although collecting at 6am isn't perfect, also isn't the worst thing in the world, you are talking a matter of 3 hours difference, which is actually 3 hours more with your daughter.

What makes you feel that your ex isn't working?

I think a judge would look at it that your ex is trying to earn some money when she can and that actually until your working hours changed the arrangement worked well, so would probably ask that you collect at the time the mother has asked for, that said there is no way of knowing which way it would go on the day, but the fact that the mother has offered a solution to not being able to collect on the Friday anymore will most probably go in her favour. As you say she isn't stopping contact and has offered an alternative to what was happening before.


Posted : 29/08/2014 8:12 pm

top tips to support your child after breakup

Claret Jack
(@Claret Jack)
Active Member Registered


Thanks for the response and I agree I do fear for this outcome as she has a case but she is out to punish me until I give up on my daughter. She claims to work as a Personal Trainer in a gym in London Saturday and Sunday... This Gym is not open on Sundays so even if she is working, there in my opinion is no reason why she cannot make her available Sunday.

She said she was working for a different gym before and turns out she was just a member. Its difficult to make arrangements and for me to respect her circumstances when I cannot tell if she is being honest. another concern about going back to court.

I also have written in my court order that "it is not in the child's best interest to allow the mother to arrange contact" or something along those lines. Do you think this will help?


Topic starter Posted : 29/08/2014 8:35 pm
Illustrious Member

I would possibly consider something on the lines of "despite my repeated attempts, XXXX is consistently placing barriers in the way of meaningful contact"

Posted : 31/08/2014 12:13 am

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