[Solved] Ex Threatening to restrict access

Hi thebett30,

Welcome to DadTalk. Really sorry to hear about your ex's threats to restrict access. I will get our legal partners at the Children's Legal Centre to have a look at this and give you some advice.

Cheers

Gooner

Hi thebett30,

your situation sounds all too familiar. Currently my ex wants to restrict access to one hour a month because i just dropped my daughter off after a week of her staying at my place and she's misbehaving which is apparently MY influence. My advice would be to give her a day or two, ring her up, state your case and attempt for her to see any behaviour logically as children being children and Adjusting to being in another environment.

My ex is unreasonable, I'm currently chasing court orders, that should definitely be your next stop. I left it too late.

I think you should look at mediation - the separation agreement is a good starting point. If that doesn't work, then start the legal process and the first hearing would normally by a conciliation hearing - your ex would have to justify why she doesn't think that the arrangement should continue and unless she has a good reason, then it's not easy telling the judge that she doesn't agree to reasonable contact - if you can get agreement, then the court can issue a contact order there and then, but if no agreement, then it goes on to further hearing(s) for the court to make an assessment.

It may be worth possibly going for slightly less contact than you'd like at first, and then when that goes well, going back later to get contact increased. The only problem I foresee is that, ideally, you'd need to specify days for contact - both children and the courts like a certainty of contact, so you'd need to consider this in relation to your work schedule.

Dear Thebett30,

Thank you for contacting the Children’s Legal Centre. We apologise for the delay in responding to your query.

As there is nothing legal in place at present, the resident parent is able to control the contact that you have with your son. This is because the right to contact belongs to the child, not to parents, and a child is not considered able to exercise their own rights when they are young, they are able to do this regarding contact absolutely at 16 years old.

The arrangements made for children in a separation agreement or divorce are not legally binding, as these are purely agreements and not enforceable. The only way of enforcing contact is when it has been placed in a contact order made by the court.

This means that your ex partner is not committing an offence by restricting the contact that you have with your son, although parents should be reasonable about this and only restrict contact when there is thought to be concerns for the child’s safety.

The first step when attempting to negotiate contact is usually mediation, as this allows the parties to discuss their views with an independent third party and try to reach an agreement that you are both happy with. The court also likes to see that you have attempted to negotiate and try to agree contact issues. The contact number for National Family Mediation is 01392 271610.

If this is not successful or the mother refuses to attend, then you are able to make an application to court for a contact order. Unfortunately, a contact order is the only way to gain enforceable contact with your child if the resident parent is not willing to allow this.

You are able to make an application to court either yourself or sing a solicitor, whichever you prefer. To make the application yourself you would download forms C100, CB1 and CB3 from www.hmcs.gov.uk . The C100 is the application for a contact order and the accompanying forms offer guidance on this application. Once the C100 is completed, you file this at the Family Proceedings Court closest to the child’s home with the required fee of £200.
The court would then contact all parties involved to advise the m when to attend court.

Alternatively you are able to instruct a solicitor to do this on your behalf and to represent you in court, if they are unable to resolve the matter with the mother through correspondence.

Once the matter goes to court, the judge will hear all the circumstances and the views of all parties and will then make a decision regarding what contact is appropriate in your particular situation based on what is thought to be in the child’s best interests.
This can take some time and several hearings before a final order is put in place.

The court will consider your working schedule, as well as the schedule of the child (such as schooling) and the mother, and are able to put in place that you have your child a set number of days out of a period of time, rather than set specific days and times.

All court orders are legally binding, and the resident parent would be expected to comply with what is stated within the court order and may be penalised by the court if she does not.

We hope this information is useful to you. Should you require further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help.

Kind Regards
Children’s Legal Centre.

>and are able to put in place that you have your child a set number of days out of a period of time, rather than set specific days and times.

I love this forum - that's something else I didn't know 🙂