[Solved] Ex trying to walk all over me and restrict contact

Hi there and welcome 🙂

I'm sorry to hear you arn't coping too well but on the plus side you are maintaining a really good level of contact with your son. It seems to me that even though your ex walked out she is giving you lots of time with your son.

I think as your son is due to start school soon she does have a valid point and I also think that inviting you to mediation is also a positive move...it shows she is prepared to discuss it with you and try and reach an agreement.

As the resident parent, she does have a bigger say in arrangements for contact, particularly as there is no contact order from court in place. Court is really a last resort and if a way forward can be found outside of the court process then it should pursued. Mediation is a good way to resolve issues surrounding children and my advice to you would be to accept the offer to attend. As hurt as you must be feeling it would be much better for you all and especially for your child, if you try not to let it cloud your judgement.

Good luck with it all 🙂

I've just thinking about this one a little....As NJ says mediation is certainly a step forward not as you may see it a way of cutting contact....if she's offering this then i'd take her up on it first...you will need to have tried it if you do end up having to go through the painfully slow court processes!

thinking out loud here for a moment.........alternate days (one day with you the next with her) for a child must be quite confusing and may be even a little stressful for your child not just you and your ex.....
if you really insit on trying to spil time 50/50 would she agree to say 3 days with you then 3 with her and use the remaining day as the hand over day?
my thinking here is that if you more continued contact..... 3 days at a time instead of 1 day with you day with the ex......then you and your child could do a little more and would this not be a little more structured for the child?

i know with work/shift paterns etc... this may not be possible or practical but i thought i'd just put a suggestion out there.

Thanks for the advice Nannyjane,

Excuse my ignorance but what makes her the "resident parent", is it the fact that she is the mother and it always reverts to her unless a court says otherwise?

Thanks

As far as i understand it these days thats not necesarily the case.......not sure i'm right but if not i'm sure somwone will correct me....

If you leave/left her and left her with the kids then she will be the Resident Parent (RP) you become the Non Resident Parent...(NRP)

if she left you but didn't take the kids (you have them with you) then you become the RP.

The resident parent will be the one who is claiming the child benefit, and the one who receives child maintenance (if any is exchanged)

I would imagine that your ex would be classed as the resident parent.

I would also agree that mediation would be a good thing to attend, your ex seems to want to discuss and move forward which should be seen as a good thing rather than a bad.

If she wanted to stop contact or just take you to court I would look differently, but she is asking for discussion out of court.

Go along and see what she has to say, nothing she offers has to be accepted and anything agreed to in mediation isn't legally binding so if you agree to something in haste you can change it, though if you did need to change anything I would recommend doing this in mediation also so something else can be agreed too.

Darren