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Few months ago I was planning the move to the US. My child of 10 used to live with her mum, stepfather and 3 younger children.
I told them that I'm moving abroad so they ask me to take my child with me. The ex signed a document in a solicitor office giving her consent that I can remove the child from the UK to the US.
However, our visa never arrived as my wife must go back to college so her qualification could be used over there, so she gave up and we just forget about going to the US.
Since I had my child, the ex never want to pick her up for a visit (she says that is too much driving for her!) and she very rarely call her. She only have her for a week during school holidays.
The last holiday, her mum could only have her for five days. My child came back home very unhappy that she didn't spent enough time with her mum and the kids and said that she want to go back and live with her mum. The problem is that I don't have other kids to give her company.
Her mum is now talking about taking her back!
My question is can I ÂÂobject to her mum having her back? Can her mum have her back? Anyone knows my legal position here.
I love my daughter and I don't want her to go back as she is better off with me (from an adult point of view). The problem is that I don't have a job for the last 6 months, and my income is very limited.
Can I just refuse to give the child back?
Thanks
Hi
First of all welcome to Dadtalk and I hope you find it helpful.
I'm sorry to hear about this situation and that your daughter is so unhappy about having so little time with her mum. I can imagine how rejecting and confusing it must be for her. In an ideal world she would see you both as it's important for children to know that they have two parents who love and care for them as they grow up. It sounds as if you could do with some legal advice, I presume you have no formal court arrangements in place about custody arrangements for your daughter, so I am passing your questions on to our legal team. It will take a few days for them to respond so do keep looking out for a reply.
Sent at: Wed Jan 27, 2010 5:34 pm
From: ChildrensLegalCentre
Dear Casparov,
We apologise for the delay in responding to your query.
At present there is nothing in place to state which parent your daughter should live with, which means that where possible it is for you and the mother to agree this between yourselves.
You are able to refuse to give your daughter back to her mother, and it is then for the mother to decide what she wishes to do about this.
The mother is able to contact the police and ask if they will return your daughter to her. The police can get involved in these situations, but often will not unless they feel it is necessary, however it is discretionary and they can return her if they feel it is appropriate to do so, especially if this is what your daughter wants.
Either yourself or the mother are able to apply for a residence order from the court at any time and this will state legally where your daughter is to live, generally until she is 16 years old.
You are able to apply for this if you wish, and the court would look at all the details, seek the arguments of yourself and the mother and also the opinion of your daughter (although she would not usually be permitted to be in the court this would usually be gained by CAFCASS).
The court would then decide whether to grant a residence order based on what they believe to be best for your daughter. The residence order would be legally binding, and no person would be able to remove your daughter from the named party without their consent or in accordance with another court order.
However, at present you are not required to give your daughter to the mother simply because she says to do this, it is your decision. There is also nothing stopping the mother from keeping your daughter with her after a contact session, especially if your daughter wishes to stay there.
It may be helpful to attempt some form of mediation with the mother to see if an agreement can be reached regarding your daughter and where she is to live. The contact number for National Family Mediation is 01392 271610.
We hope this information has been useful to you. Should you require further advice please contact the Child Law Advice Line on 0808 8020 008 and an advisor will be happy to help you.
Kind Regards
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