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Hi all, I'm after some more advise please. My Ex has hit me with an ultimatum which I cannot see is legal. She will allow me access to my children on the conditions thety have nothing to do and never see my current partner. She has basically said I have to choose between my kids or my new partner. How she feels she has the power to dictate and control my life is beyond belief, but as usual, she is using the children as a weapon. I have no intention of introducing my boys to my new partner for months yet, as I have only been with my new partner for about 2 months anyway. But can my Ex insist that they have nothing to do with her at any time? Can she stop me seeing them if I refuse to agree. If I refuse, we will have to settle this in Court as she will never back down, what kind of view would the courts take? Has anyone had a similar issue and, if so, what happened and how was it reolved? Many thanks
Hi Kev,
I will give more detail in a while when I can write a longer reply, but the end answer is no she can't enforce these restrictions on your time. Unless there is a good reason for doing so like if meeting your partner would be putting your children at risk.
As long as this isn't the case and i'm sure it isn't she can't restrict who you see.
Darren
Hi Kev,
Right I have a little more time now so can give more detail.
Have a look through this thred as it is similar to your situation it talks about children meeting new partners on page 2.
but as I have said it isn't dont to your childs mother to decided what you do or who you see whilst your children, you sound pretty switched on about not rushing things and allowing them to meet your new partner too soon, but I get you want to get this sorted ready for when the time is right.
Mediation is always a good place to start to resolve things and keep court in mind incase that isn't an option or doesn't work.
You don't need lots of money to go to court as you can represent yourself and there is a good guide to this in the legal section on the forum written by yoji so have a look.
like I said have a read through the post in the link above and see if it covers what you need, if not ask anything more you need.
Darren
Hi Kev,
I make the assumption, from what you have said, that there is no contact order in place. Darren is perfectly correct in that she shouldn't do this, but at the moment as she is the parent with care, she has control of your children and can stop them seeing you by the simple act of not allowing you near (and whatever you do, don't go to her house demanding to see them as she will most likely call the police and have you arrested for breach of the peace). Unless there is a good reason for your current partner not having contact with your children (and a jealous ex doesn't count as a good reason), then a court is not going to place that restriction, and basically when you have the children, you can introduce them to whoever you wish.
So the simple fact is that, in order to continue contact and introduce your partner to your children (when you are ready), you may well have to go to court to get a contact order, and in fact, in my view, even if your ex now backs down, I'd be inclined to go for the contact order on basis that I believe your ex is going to try to use the children in future to control the whole situation. A court may expect, or at least ask, for mediation but with your ex's controlling attitude and demands, I certainly be arguing that you don't believe she'd stick to a voluntary arrangement.
I would read yoji's 'guide to representing yourself' at the top of the legal section, and I'd start sooner rather than later so that when you are ready to introduce your children, the contact order is in place.
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