[Solved] FAILED....trying to get back into my house...

Hi Boycie

You are I am afraid out options at the moment. Its unfortunate the police took the stance they did, but as has been said before they don't like getting involved in civil matters.

You can only write to her solicitor and insist on some access to property or put the property up for sale, make a claim against her for the items she has not returned.

Its all down to Courts now I am afraid. I know its not what you want to hear though(:

In 2011 I had a similar event unfolding……. I think I may have been lucky that the officer I was with did escort me inside the property to collect a couple of the items I had previously been denied to get by my ex.

However I had a solicitor at the time and was told that as she had changed the locks to our jointly owned property she had to give me a key…..if I was to force entry to my own property the only thing I would have to do is to repair/make safe any damage….this I checked with the police and they too said that that as it was my property I could do what I liked….however if she was to be in at the time I’d be then arrested for causing her distress!

Anyway as it panned out when my solicitor informed her of my right to have a key to my property that’s when she played the DV card and she refused because she too was just a “scared weak woman who was living in fear of what I may do if she gave me a key!!” All absolute Bull sh*te but enough for my solicitor to warn me against forcing entry to my own property.

How is it ok for DaveRs ex to go back in their house whenever she wants but not ok when it's the other way round, surely the law is the same whatever [censored] you are!

the law is the same.......but its not when the police won't uphold the law as its civil.......i only got them to help me as i told them i was scared of her and feared a breach of the peace as had been threatend before.
but the police aren't all the same......the officer who came with me was female and seemed to calm the ex down enough to allow me to get my stuff.

in my opinion if its a male officer the ex is more likely to "play up" to them and most male offices i've had dealings with seem to talk down to you more than a female officer does.....the female officer i had with me was very undersanding of the situation and ok to deal with.

Thank you for your replies.

Needless to say I was hit with a non-molestation order today.

She has also applied for an occupation order.

Two questions and then another one
1) Does the occupation order have any implication on ancillary relief?
2) Is there any point in defending the two?

Any suggestions....
3) I am kind of gonna wait till the afternoon to see if she facilitates contact with the children. If she does not then I will ask for the orders to be revoked/amended. I will then seek the courts help to give an emergency contact order until the next hearing on the 2nd October. I will also ask the courts for an order to get my belongings back......?

BW

Boyce

Hi Roy,

Im still digesting your news mate....I said the same as NannyJane the othe rnight...how come my ex can come and go etc. 🙁

I would defend the non mol and if possible the occupation order.

Not sure about point 1.

I would request emergency access and present to the judge that your ex is as mad as a box of frogs.

Chin up old chap.....

Regards,

Dave

H Boycie

While you will have the right to defend the Non-Mol, my guess is the Court will deal with it by way of undertakings anyway,, its the easiest. The Occupation Order will have no implication on the ancillary side.

If you have not had the contact, ask the Court at that time for interim contact by way of a third party (collecting and returning children), worth a try, but they may not listen.

I say defend against the non-mol Boycie, don't accept the undertaking...ask Dad-I-d what he thinks about undertakings! I know other Dads that have been made to regret accepting an undertaking with out realizing its effect.

I dont think there will be any choice at the end of the day, unfortunately. Every Non Mol I have done, even though a strong defence has been put up...especially when the ex "pressed the right buttons" or started it, its ended up with mutual undertakings. But definitely do defend it, I was not saying dont defend.

🙂

that sounds the same (word for word) as whats happening to me now.. its unbelievable this draconian law system can destroy a fathers life, just on the say so of the wife, no proof, nothing..
what happened to innocent until proved guilty?....it really is pathetic.
the only people to win out these situations is solicitors

The private family law system is a huge money making machine, civil courts don't have to work on the premise of innocent until proven guilty!

Thank you - it is flawed and has it faults but unfortunately it is the same system I am relying to get more access to see my children.

I hope the non-mol order and any undertaking should not be connected with child proceedings but I suspect she is gonna use her ankle clamp to keep mentioning DV and fear etc when I was the Tyrone (for those corrie street fans) in our little drama. She even accused the police officer in attendance to be an accomplice of mine lol

Are there any disadvantages of undertakings? Open to the forum.....:)

Hi Boycie

You can bet your bottom dollar the ex will use that against you, but you can also explain to the Court that you attended, in what you consider to be all reasonableness, taking a police officer with you to prevent this application and include that she accused the Police Officer of not being real!

I am going to leave the question of undertakings alone, as I have said previously, I only dealt with them in my work, but as NJ says, there are people on here with other experiences.