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Was arrested after my wife went to GP at least a couple of times. After the last time the GP informed social services/police. The GP never informed me, although I am also a patient of the same incompetent doctor. Very likely the GP never read the guide “Protecting children and young people: the responsibilities of all doctors”, published by the General Medical Council in 2012. My son (5Y) was never visited by the GP at the time of my wife's allegations. He was visited after my arrest and GP confirmed no sign of abuse. I got my son's medical records confirming it. Instances of alleged abuse were definitely not enough critical to justify not informing me (as the guide contemplates) or not even visiting my son. The simple fact that the GP did not report me at the first instance proves that. If it was urgent, the GP might have had to report me immediately. Otherwise, the guide contemplates that at the first instance the GP must inform the parents. I was never informed by the GP of my wife's allegations (before or after the GP’s complaint to the police/social services).
Under section 5.5 of the guide “Working Together to Safeguard Children - A guide to inter-agency working to safeguard and promote the welfare of children”, which was published in March 2010 and applicable at the relevant time also to the GP: “Work to safeguard and promote the welfare of children should be:
Child centred: ...The significance of seeing and observing the child cannot be overstated... Some of the worst failures of the system have occurred when professionals have lost sight of the child and concentrated instead on their relationship with the adults...
Informed by evidence: Effective practice with children and families requires sound professional judgements which are underpinned by a rigorous evidence base... Decisions based on these judgements should be kept under review, and take full account of any new information obtained during the course of work with the child and family.”
If GP promptly informed me before reporting me, I could avoid the dramatic consequences that followed the GP's negligent actions. I could bring my son to be checked immediately and clarify that the pictures shown by my wife were pictures of marks/bruises which I did not cause and older than she claimed them to be.
I requested the GP all records of my children and all information that the GP should have provided under the above guide of 2012. I received the records of my children, but not all relevant documents concerning the alleged domestic abuse, and THE GP FAILED TO PROVIDE INFORMATION ON WHAT EXACTLY HAPPENED (i.e. what my wife told the GP, when and what pictures she showed). This last bit may be important in the divorce proceedings. I understand that my wife has been going around showing to GP, social services and police pictures of bruises of my son on her phone. Apparently all relevant professionals/officers were so sloppy, that no one got copy of the relevant files. Substantially, my wife perverted the course of justice and all the relevant authorities assisted her, putting in place significant misconducts in public office.
My understanding is that the system is so fu***d up, that if I complain to the police against the relevant people (wife, GP, police officers involved, etc.) nothing may happen, except that in the context of the divorce proceedings I will look the angry father who wants to punish the wife and everybody. Is this right?
Always thought that criminal records are contemplated in the system to put third party on notice about the precedents of a person. Don’t care if my wife goes or not to jail. I would like her to have some records for the future in case of new allegations. As I asked the brilliant detective who informed me that the police decided to drop my case and not do anything against my wife (although I gave them enough info to check that the evidence was fabricated), who will protect me next time my wife plays the same trick? In addition, if you never crucify anybody when it is more than appropriate to do so, how can you expect that the professional standards improve? I have reason to believe that the wonderful detective who dealt with my case did substantially nothing for 40 days. Just half hour before my bail meeting rang me to tell me that she just returned after 3 weeks away, had to carry out more investigation and therefore the meeting was being postponed. She possibly had a crush on my wife and was just taking time for her. That’s when I stopped following the advice of family and criminal lawyers and believing that the police was serious about investigating these matters. I started writing to the police putting black on white that I was the victim and they were assisting a criminal in perverting the course of justice, giving plenty of info to ascertain that the evidence was fabricated. Less than two weeks after the first email the brilliant detective who dealt with the case rang me to inform me that they were dropping the case and do nothing else. Unfortunately, this is too late, since I remain out of my house and away from my children (of whom I was the primary carer before my nightmare).
Sorry for long post. To make it short, does anybody have similar experience and may advice whether at some point I may go after the GP/NHS or even police to recover ongoing damage (also on behalf of my children)? I remain out of my house with my wife minimising my contact with them (5Y and 1&1/2) and struggling to find work. In addition, she is defaming me as much as possible to cut my bridges with friends and acquaintances.
Was glad to understand based on your forum that I am not alone in this huge black hole in which I feel to be.
I also need a new social life.... based in London.
Thanks.
Franky.
I'm not sure what advice you want here. With regards to the alleged offences, as that has been dropped, I'm not sure there is anything you can do further unless the police can provide you with a written statement of why they were dropped - it could be for lack of evidence or because they believe the allegations were false. I think the chances of getting any action against your ex are extremely slim and although I can understand why you are angry, I think that it's not where you want to be expending your efforts.
I would say that you now need to concentrate on getting contact with your son.
Hi actd.
Thanks for your message and consideration for my case. Form 100 related to children contact was filed with the court. First hearing will be relatively soon. Contact with children is my top priority and issue, especially given my wife's ongoing endeavours to alienate my son and reduce my contact with the children. I am trying to figure out whether I can do more to reestablish a proper relationship with my children sooner rather than later. For now I have limited weekly contact with them.
In addition, I am considering other issues and struggle to understand a system in which there is a lot of talking about accountability, but neither key gatekeepers nor women abusing the system in perverting the course of justice appear to be held accountable for breach of human rights of children and fathers.
Police wrote me that they dropped the matter for lack of evidence. I understand from FASO that this is standard, although, as I requested the police, they should have checked the files of some of the relevant pictures to verify that they were taken BEFORE the relevant alleged events (i.e. fabrication of evidence => perversion of the course of justice). For the sake of clarity, notwithstanding the dates of the alleged events, I never hurt my son or my wife. Are you aware of cases in which they close a matter by saying that the allegations were false? What could I do to get there? I tried it with social services, claiming that my children and I are entitled to have our personal data on their system to be kept “accurate” under the data protection act and on this basis I requested them to collect the fabricated evidence from my wife and put it on records. They diplomatically made me understand that "since the relevant threshold was not met" it is not their practice to do so much work for a case like mine (although they opened a core assessment, keeping me formally completely uninformed about it), but plan to close soon the matter, possibly on the basis that there is no evidence.
In my view the relevant representatives of the public authorities involved have acted so incompetently that have had an interest to close the matter without consequences for anybody “on paper”, except that such approach leaves my wife with the possibility of further perverting the course of justice by using the relevant pictures in the divorce proceedings. Lettes from her lawyer makes me believe that this will happen.
That means that a significant amount of time may pass and significant amount of costs may have to be incurred to get to the bottom of this, while she continues minimising my contact with the children and, based on what my son (5y) tells me, attempts to alienate him against me.
1) I would most welcome any strategy advice with regard to the possibility that my wife falsely claims domestic abuse in the divorce/children proceedings. For instance, is there anybody who thinks that there is scope in putting her lawyer formally on notice that evidence is entirely fabricated and he is assisting a criminal? I am sure that in the end all her lies will be exposed, but by then the ongoing harm to my relationship with the children will worsen and may become irreparable. Hence, any suggestion to minimise such risks?
2) As anticipated, as part of her package of domestic abuse, my wife has been defaming me (claiming that I hit my son, I was violent, controlling and abusive with her, I am unreasonable and want a long and expensive divorce proceedings, etc.). The defamation is entirely based on false allegations and has been planned and done with the intention and result to (a) fabricate indirect evidence on my character and conduct and (b) cut my bridges with friends and acquaintances, although the results are far worse and affect also my children (e.g. I struggle to find playdates for my children with former friends, who avoid me merely on the basis of her false allegations and tears). Would anybody consider starting a separate proceeding for domestic abuse, defamation and/or violation of human rights while the divorce proceedings are ongoing?
3) As per my previous message, I was wondering whether anybody dealt with similar negligence of the GP and what can be done in that respect. Putting any angriness aside and remaining clear that contact with children remains my priority, I am trying to analyse the matter 360 degrees and would like to understand whether there is any scope for meaningful damages (in respect of my arrest and all related ongoing violations of mine and my children’s human rights, which, surely, from my perspective will never be fully recoverable/redressed).
4) Given my circumstances, any additional advice/suggestion in respect of anything other than what is covered under 1, 2 or 3 above will be welcome.
Thank you.
Hi there Franky 🙂
I think we all understand your anger and bitterness, its a story that we hear regularly on here...Unfortunately the best advice I can give is to let it go...you wont get an admission from the police, their take on it is not that its been disproven but that there wasnt enough evidence to charge you.
As far as the GP is concerned you could complain to the General Medical Council but I doubt that you will get far and it will just serve to frustrate you even more.
If you've got tons of money I guess you could fight your corner as far as your human rights being breached....you could go see your MP, but aside from that, moving on will be your best bet.
The fact is that it is all too common for women to make allegations of domestic violence, but all allegations must be looked into as there are risks to the women and children if they are true.... perhaps if there were consequences for women that make false allegations then there might be less of it going on.
I think you need to accept that the system is heavily weighted in favour of the mothers in this country...Its grossly unfair we know but its the way it is....things are changing but this is a very slow process. The fact that the Legal Aid reforms that came into effect in April will do nothing to alleviate the pressure is again a sad fact. Legal Aid will now only be available to those parents that have experienced domestic abuse, again this opens a can of worms as some unscrupulous women will allege violence and report such things to the police and GP to qualify for free legal representation.
It is best for you to let go of the things you cant do anything about and concentrate all your energies into establishing regular contact with your children. This is your priority as you say, and the fight to achieve this can be a long, hard road. Having said that there are success stories and if you can arm yourself with lots and lots of patience and a thick skin you will find your way back to your children.
I know this is not what you wanted to hear and it is just my opinion, I wish you well in your endeavours and if you need any advice about how to move forward with the contact order then please dont hesitiate to ask 🙂
Thanks Nannyjane.
You confirm that the system is screwed up badly.
Thanks for the advice.
Franky
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