[Solved] Flouting the contact order - help !

Hi there,

Unfortunately the only way to deal with a breach of the contact order is to return to court for enforcement of the order. You can do this without a solicitor which will be a lot cheaper, the application fee is £200, but if you are on benefits or a low income you will be entitled to an exemption. The form you would need for enforcement is the C79 and the form to apply for an exemption is the EX160a.

It is a civil matter so the police wont get involved.

If she has a Residence Order then she is allowed to take your daughter away for up to a month without seeking your permission, although strictly speaking she should discuss this with you. If you fear that she is leaving the country and is not returning then you can apply for an emergency Prohibited Steps Order to prevent this. This would also be done with the C100 form.

...I meant to add, you could also write to her or her solicitor, and inform her that she is in breach of the Contact Order and if she does not comply forthwith you will pursue enforcement through the court without delay. The penalties for non compliance are fines, community service, loss of custody and prison!

Thanks for the reply !

How do I know is she has a residence order ? the only orders we have had have been a Contact Order ?

How is it fair that she holds all the cards and can do as she pleases with my little girl ?

If we had JOINT custody, does all that change ?

I have done that already ... it was her solicitor who advised her to withold contact !!!

So as you can imagine, im pretty much thinking the contact order is not worth the paper is written on as she seemingly can do as she pleases....

If she has one it would have been awarded when you were at court.

If you were granted Shared Residency she could still mess you about, joint custody doesn't mean a 50/50 split of contact. Shared residency is applied when the court want the parents to work together in the best interests of the child, it means that the child has two homes and the parents are more equal. In reality the mother can still be unreasonable!

You might like to consider Mediation to try and sort these differences out, its the first step before returning to court. Heres a link

www.nfm.org.uk

There are charges for this service unless you are on benefits or a low income in which case you would be entitled to legal aid. You can check this here

www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid

we tried mediation - at the point she lunged across the table at me the mediator suggested it wasn't for us 😉

I completely agree, I've been in the same situation as you and unfortunately possession as harsh as it sounds is 9/10ths the law! Crazy!... I was told by the court legal adviser that in going back to court to enforce an order its actually rare they do little more than slap on the wrist (horses mouth I don't know if this is true) . I do think its harsh on us guys but you can understand they have to work any situation involving children and the mothers carefully as they only see it from within the court/ reports on paper from caffcass and submitted statements .. it could always be messy like this but the best us good dads can do is not get knocked down and keep pushing for our childs sake.

Enforcement is tricky but if you stick at it they will eventually act.....read Dad-I-d's posts!

Well I have just returned from Court.

I have filed an Application for Enforcement order

I will let you know what happens !!!

When mediation failed did you get a form FM1? The mediator issues this to prove that mediation was attempted and give a reason why it has failed. If you have this form you should send it into the court to be filed with the C79. Take copies for the other side and for your own records.

A bit late in posting a reply….had a busy week and just found this post.

I’ve had to apply and was awarded an enforcement order due to the ex continually breaking contact…..she actually claims its my little one who doesn’t want to come…yet when he is with me everything is fine never wants his mother or asks after her…..yet all I ever get off her is he’s telling her he don’t want to come.

Personally I think he’s worked out she doesn’t want him to come with the way she acts and so he tells her he doesn’t enjoy his time with me……if that’s right then he tells me the opposite….in which case her psychological games are now affecting him and that is what I’m continuing to fight to keep in his life for….to stop her from screwing up his life!

I’m now at the point of no return….she’s broken the enforced order with penalties and the only thing left is to seek committal or change of residency…..

I’ll do an update in about a month’s time whatever happens…..fingers crossed I get another judge like the last one who can see the truth through the lies!

Keep fighting….don’t ever give up!

Very interesting to hear of others in a similar situation !

The whole process seems flawed from the start in my opinion...

Everything seems to be her way, unless I prove and jump thru the court hoops and shell money out, with no guranteee at the end of it.

I have had lots of issues ive had to bite my teeth over

poor hygiene of my daughter
being passed from pilar to post when she is supposed to be with her mum
her poisoning (or attempting to) poison my daughter against my new wife and her step mum

the list is quite honestly endless

i have hours of phone calls recorded with her totally unreasonable behaviour, shouting, swearing in front of my daighter

we've had the police involved for breach of the peace

etc etc etc

it is VERY frustrating !!!

Hi Justwantfairness

I know it is a long haul, the law and the Courts do hope that parents are able to sort things out between themselves (hmmm..they need to try being us!LOL!) But there are laws there to enforce Orders, including imprisonment. The Courts may not like doing it, and it is very very much a last resort, but it has been done.

Just keep plodding on I am afraid.

As has been said in other posts too, when the children grow up, they will learn of the difficulties parents put up against contact, I don't know why resident parents use their children as weapons, it will go against them in the end!

Basically these ex’s think they can and think they hold all the cards because they gave birth! (generally speaking and no offence intended ladies!)

Hehehe..note Dad I D that I said "Resident Parents" 😆 I may be female, but I have personally known men and had male clients who have been very very successful (a) in raising their children and (b) in the Courts too 🙂 I very strongly believe in men's rights to be part of their children's lives...except in maybe a very few cases (abuse to children). And unfortunately I have even known some of them to retain PR and indirect contact!!!!

The whole process is flawed jwf....my sons section 7 report has just arrived, it makes really depressing reading and as expected completely biased in favour of the mother who trust me is a drug taking, lying low life....all of which has already been proven! Very depressed today!

No offence taken Dad-I-d! You're right!

I think its sad.

I think its so open to interpretation its unreal.

When I first went to court they were harsh on me, despite me doing nothing wrong.

If your son is a good guy, which i'm sure he is, then justice should prevail

Last time everything seemed to fall in my favour

I just think its sublime that as a father you have to pay thousands of pounds out to gain regular access.

And now today, a CSA letter arrived !!! Despite me paying double what I should have been for the past 5 years

I didnt see this coming, and dont understand why shes done it .....

Thats out of order that ur sons section 7 report came back the way it has nannyjane !!

Whats your sons thinking in combating this latest outcome ??

He's on holiday in Tenerife Kenny, it's my birthday so he called me today but I didn't have the heart to tell him about it because it would spoil his holiday, and he and his son are having a fantastic time. I'm very very upset about it.

My son is a good guy, he has residency of his son, which he was awarded in 2011. She was deemed an unfit mother... She had fortnightly weekend contact but in October last year she started slipping back again, assaulting her 9 yr old daughter, a cannabis grow in my grandsons bedroom and an ex con BF just out of jail for DV and arson, so my son had no choice but to suspend contact and apply to vary the contact, asking that his boy shouldnt have comtact unless supervised somewhere other than her home....thats a brief outline ...But SS deem its all ok and they are not concerned and have told lies about the reasons my son received residency in the first place and have completely downplayed the assault and drugs! Taking the mothers word above that of my son and coming down in her favour! Had it been the Dad behaving in such a way he would only be allowed indirect contact....bias is alive and flourishing in the family courts.

....if she's involved the CSA and you have been paying double the required amount she has shot herself in the foot!

Hey NJ your son's S7 report does not sound brill....what does it say about the new boyfriend? I think your son should so focus on the negatives that you pointed out above...particularly BV abuse and arson!!!!!!!

She has told them she's no longer with him for the sake of her children....he lives with her and she was pregnant to him only she lost it last month, she was about 5 months. It's common knowledge, it's on face book and we showed them a letter from her daughters dad stating that they are still in a relationship. But they prefer to believe her!

Sorry for hijacking your topic jwf

I sympathise.

Ive been shafted by evernyone i know due to her facebook

some things just aren't fair

hehehe..oh dear FB is a pain insofar as the law is concerned! So many FB attachments to statements!

NJ your son must evidence those documents to the Courts! I was going to say don't give up the fight...but that's a stooopid thing to say to you isn't it :boohoo: I know you wont 🙂

Hey JWF....my apologies too! 🙂

No apologies needed by anyone ....

i just want fair deal where she cannot (despite what she thinks ) cannot call all the shots