[Solved] French maintenance + alienation+debts PLEASEHELP

Hi everyone,

I am new here and i was so overwhelmed after spending most of last night reading the story of other dads in similar/worst situation.
It gave me hope that by writing to the forum i could see some light at the end of this LONG and DARK TUNNEL!
Sorry if my thread is a bit long.

In brief this is my story:
2 boys, aged 7 and 6, my surname was given to them at birth, never married to mother of french nationality

2009: Milton Keynes mother was granted permission to remove the children to france for "a better life", no maintenance was decided as mother was just interesting in leaving UK ASAP, with regards to contacts:
(1) During the summer holidays, 3 weeks.
(2) October half term on one weekend.
(3) Christmas, one week, Christmas Day to be alternated.
(4) February half term, one weekend.
(5) Easter holiday, one week.
(6) On one weekend from Friday evening to Sunday evening during the summer
term.
The mother agreed to pay for one round trip per year, and one half of the other five round trips and further the notice period for each of the agreed periods of contact. So far you think mother very reasonable but i was left alone
Feb 2012 mother files request to french court to receive E500 for children`s maintenance
June 2012 Court day: i employed a local french solicitor to fight my case and i propose to pay EURO200 instead if i was to keep maintaining to see the children and pay for the expenses for them to travel in uk. I provided all the documents to support the bad state of my finances (Net salary £1750, mortgage of £1300 (fixed term) on the house i own, loan for deposit of the house £350 per month without taking in consideration bills and food)
July 2012 Conclusion of the judge:
The Family Court judge, acting in private, by contradictory judgment in first instance,
SAY; that the right of visit and accommodation of the kids shall take place one weekend per month the father must inform the mother and for half the school holidays, the traveling cost of the children being equally divided, the mother will provide the outward and return will be provide by father.
RECALLS that the school holiday period is run by reference to periods of vacancy of the academy which educates children are:
POINTS OUT that the school holidays are counted from the first day of the official date of holidays.
RECALLS that the parents have the duty, in case of change of residence, to communicate their new address
RECALLS that agreements freely entered into between the parents about what was right and accommodation and in the interest of Duncan and Joshua would always prevail over the above provisions.
POINTS OUT that the child has the right to freely communicate by letter and / or telephone, with the parent with whom he does not reside and that it has the right and duty to contact him regularly respecting the life of the parent they are living with.
FIX from the 1st of February 2012 the amount of 180 Euro per month and per children totaling the sum of 360 Euros. (£1741 in arrears as i started to pay from August and mother kindly negotiating small payment towards arrears)

I need to remind you that i am really struggling financially, i cannot sell my house or re-mortgage it because i m in negative equity, bought for 230K, still 200K left on mortgage, accual value if I am lucky 190K
I have 2.5 years left on my personal loan, i keep borrowing from family/friends. I was recently refused a credit card application.
i am not disputing the maintenance per se but the amount is going to alienate me from my children and driving me in to further depression and ultimately in bankruptcy.
It does not help if the EX is going crazy, without notice she emailed me saying she booked the flights for the children to visit me in Oct and i must return them by 07/11, no consultation, just “I am sending them to you, I am following the judge decision, i DONT CARE attitude”, she has already told the children who are now very exited but all i can do is letting them down and destroy our relationship when i tell them i cannot afford to see them.
She is not willing to discuss the matter, not answering the phone, not even with my sister who has a good relationship with her.

You think that it does not happen often that the mother "force" contacts on the father and maybe i should consider myself very lucky but every time i see them i need £300 for travel and sometime i have to take unpaid leave to look after them, my family is in Italy.

The lawyer I employed in France is washing his hands and is not responding or advising me on the matter.
I cannot afford a layer and in my case has to be one based in france.
Legal Aid is not an option because they dont take in consideration the true cost of mortgage and disregard loan all together, so in their eyes I AM WELTHLY and i have £800 to spare each month....which I DONT!
I am running out of options,
After speaking to few organisations, I was told to appeal the decision of the French court, i will write to them and ask a friend to help me with the translation, I will represent myself.
Meanwhile I am worried sick about my children and what they will think of me, I am not performing well at work and the debts are affecting my health.
PLEASE dads out there help!
Can anyone let me know how if have successful appealed to a maintenance order, either overseas or here in UK (CSA), I need ideas, tips on how to write the letter
At the same time i need advice on how to stop my ex from taking the children in UK at the end of Oct, if she arrives i believe i have the legal responsibility to pick them up and not abandoning them but if i cannot afford to return them I could get done for abduction.
Should i involve the police in France and UK?

I look forward to hear your advice and opinion.

THANK YOU